IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The picture depicts the results of a survey about the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 in buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
,
buying
Wrong verb form
bought
show examples
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 and bought
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in
cafes
Use synonyms
 in five different cities in Australia in the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest amount of
coffee
Use synonyms
 purchased in Melbourne
at
Verb problem
is at
show examples
Cafes
Use synonyms
 for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
. Less than 45% of
people
Use synonyms
 bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 whilst more than 45% of
people
Use synonyms
 bought
instant
Use synonyms
cofee
Correct your spelling
coffee
 in Sydney, the highest
number
Use synonyms
 showed for
people
Use synonyms
 that went to
cafes
Use synonyms
 for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 with a
number
Use synonyms
 of 61%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Melbourne had a slightly lower
number
Use synonyms
 compared to Sydney in fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 purchased by 2%, whilst the
number
Use synonyms
 of
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 bought was a little bit higher by 4%; other than that, slightly
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
 than 65% of
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 bought
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 at
cafes
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, 38% and 54% of
people
Use synonyms
 bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
at
Punctuation problem
, at
show examples
 Hobart. More than 55% of
people
Use synonyms
 went to
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
 for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 for the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Adelaide
whilst
Punctuation problem
, whilst
show examples
Use synonyms
instant
Correct word order
those who purchased instant coffee
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 purchased had a slightly lower
number
Use synonyms
compared
Punctuation problem
, compared
show examples
 to
went
Correct pronoun usage
those who went
show examples
 to
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 only 53%.
In addition
Linking Words
, fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 purchased in Brisbane showed the least
number
Use synonyms
 compared to other cities and category with only 34%.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 purchased and cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 had a
slight difference
Replace the word
slightly different
number
Use synonyms
 with 50% and 49% respectively.
Lastly
Linking Words
, only 34.5% of
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 chose to
bought
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in Adelaide in the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee, instant, tea, cafes, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • buying and drinking habits
  • percentage
  • fresh coffee
  • instant coffee
  • consumption trends
  • comparison
  • popularity
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • notable
  • speculate
  • features
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