In some countries, the number of people visiting art galleries is reducing. What do you think the reasons for this are? How can we solve this problem?
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic → Introduction
There are many
that faces reducing in
people visitorCheck wording
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in some countries. In
essay will discuss the reasons for
problem, before
solutions.
Body paragraph 1
In
years, many
artistFix the agreement mistake
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have faced issues,
their sales of
paintingCheck wording
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in
are reducing, because many people believe that
are
for wealthy people. So
thatCorrect word choice
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, the number of
are decrease .
phemenon increase recently
andPunctuation problem
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the
in social media
as( inestegram, and
)Punctuation problem
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support
their lifestyles, and they buy paintings
withChange preposition
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high
priceCheck wording
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.
Body paragraph 2
To solve
problem , many
add a limit price on
a ll Correct determiner usage
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paintings.
is Verb problem
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price depends on the
of artiest. They
restrict a
. Because
TheyFix capitalization
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want to
with difference background.
, several
riseVerb problem
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their sales and
, when they
strategy to attract customers.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the number of
areCorrect subject-verb agreement
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decreasing in
because many of them lose
by
. According
forChange preposition
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,
put a strong limit
forChange preposition
show examples
them .
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You answer both parts of the task: you give reasons and a way to help. However, your main ideas need to be clearer and more fully explained. For example, say why people may feel that galleries are only for rich people, and why this stops them from going.
Your solution is not fully clear. A price limit on paintings may help buyers, but it may not make more people visit a gallery. Add other useful ideas, such as free entry days, low cost events, art talks, and posts online that show galleries are open to all people.
Use a more real and clear example. Instead of saying that several galleries had more sales and visitors, explain one case: a gallery gave free entry on Sunday, so more families came and later bought small works of art.
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion. This is a good basic plan. Make the first sentence clearer: state that you will discuss the causes and solutions.
Keep each paragraph on one main idea. In the first body paragraph, focus only on why visits fall. In the second, focus only on ways to bring visitors back. Some sentences about artists, sales, rich people, and social media are not well linked.
Use simple link words more clearly: 'One reason is...', 'Another reason is...', 'To solve this...', 'For example...', and 'As a result...'. Do not use 'whereas' when you mean 'because'.
Make sure each sentence is easy to understand before moving to the next one. For example, replace 'They also restrict a famous behaviour' with a clear idea, such as 'They should not let famous people make the gallery seem like a place only for rich people.'
You address the two key questions: why fewer people visit galleries and what galleries can do.
You use clear paragraph breaks for the introduction, reasons, solutions, and conclusion.
You try to use linking words such as 'because', 'for example', and 'in conclusion' to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.