In some countries, the number of people visiting art galleries is reducing. What do you think the reasons for this are? How can we solve this problem?

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Introduction
There are many
art
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galleries
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that faces reducing in
people visitor
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the number of visitors
show examples
in some countries. In
this
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essay will discuss the reasons for
this
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problem, before
perseinting
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presenting
solutions.
Body paragraph 1
In
racent
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recent
years, many
artist
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artists
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have faced issues,
whereas
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their sales of
painting
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paintings
show examples
in
art
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galleries
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are reducing, because many people believe that
art
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galleries
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are
specefic
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specific
for wealthy people. So
that
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apply
show examples
, the number of
visitors
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are decrease .
This
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phemenon increase recently
and
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, and
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the
faimoses
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fame
in social media
sucha
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such
as( inestegram, and
Snap chat
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Snapchat
)
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apply
show examples
support
this
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phemenon throught
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phenomenon through
their lifestyles, and they buy paintings
with
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at
show examples
high
price
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prices
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.
Body paragraph 2
To solve
this
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problem , many
art
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galleries
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add a limit price on
a ll
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all
show examples
paintings.
This
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is
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apply
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price depends on the
expericence
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experience
of artiest. They
also
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restrict a
faimose behiviour
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famous behaviour
. Because
They
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they
show examples
want to
increse
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increase
visitors
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with difference background.
For example
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, several
art
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galleries
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rise
Verb problem
raise
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their sales and
visitors
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, when they
followe
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follow
this
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strategy to attract customers.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the number of
visitors
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are
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is
show examples
decreasing in
art
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galleries
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because many of them lose
thier reputetion
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their reputation
by
faimoses
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fame
. According
for
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to
show examples
this
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,
art
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galleries
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put a strong limit
for
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on
show examples
them .

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task response
You answer both parts of the task: you give reasons and a way to help. However, your main ideas need to be clearer and more fully explained. For example, say why people may feel that galleries are only for rich people, and why this stops them from going.
task response
Your solution is not fully clear. A price limit on paintings may help buyers, but it may not make more people visit a gallery. Add other useful ideas, such as free entry days, low cost events, art talks, and posts online that show galleries are open to all people.
task response
Use a more real and clear example. Instead of saying that several galleries had more sales and visitors, explain one case: a gallery gave free entry on Sunday, so more families came and later bought small works of art.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion. This is a good basic plan. Make the first sentence clearer: state that you will discuss the causes and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main idea. In the first body paragraph, focus only on why visits fall. In the second, focus only on ways to bring visitors back. Some sentences about artists, sales, rich people, and social media are not well linked.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words more clearly: 'One reason is...', 'Another reason is...', 'To solve this...', 'For example...', and 'As a result...'. Do not use 'whereas' when you mean 'because'.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence is easy to understand before moving to the next one. For example, replace 'They also restrict a famous behaviour' with a clear idea, such as 'They should not let famous people make the gallery seem like a place only for rich people.'
task response
You address the two key questions: why fewer people visit galleries and what galleries can do.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear paragraph breaks for the introduction, reasons, solutions, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use linking words such as 'because', 'for example', and 'in conclusion' to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital entertainment
  • cultural access
  • exhibitions
  • streaming services
  • financial constraints
  • leisure activities
  • interactive experiences
  • immersive
  • marketing strategies
  • outreach
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