IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

write a letter to your friend . you have borrowed something from your friend and it got damaged 1. apologizing for damaging the product 2. explain what happened 3. say how you are going to fix that issue

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Dear Shail, It's taken me so long to tell you that
why
Correct pronoun usage
I
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 didn't
I gave
Wrong verb form
give
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 your
car
Use synonyms
 back that
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 borrowed from you
last
Linking Words
 week. I have been feeling so guilty why I delayed writing to you
,
Punctuation problem
.
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I accidentally broke
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
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Use synonyms
car breaking
Check wording
car's brake
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 pads
Punctuation problem
.
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I know it's your new
car
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
,
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and I am really scared
telling to
Correct word order
to tell
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 you about
this
Linking Words
 .
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ,
That
Fix capitalization
that
show examples
 time I
am going
Wrong verb form
went
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 to
temple
Correct article usage
the temple
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 with my grandmother
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it was raining outside when I am at highway
i
Punctuation problem
. I
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 followed the speed limit
as well as
Linking Words
rules
Correct article usage
the rules
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 and regulations. But suddenly , the
car
Use synonyms
loosed
Verb problem
lost
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 its attraction and slipped in the middle of the highway
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 I managed
and
Correct word choice
to
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 safely take
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
the car
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 off
from
Change preposition
apply
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the road
we both are
Correct word order
. We're both
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 fine
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 damaged your
Use synonyms
car
Check wording
car's
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 brake pads.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
You
Fix capitalization
you
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 don't need to take any stress
I
Punctuation problem
. I
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already asked my friend to
fixed
Wrong verb form
fix
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 your
car
Use synonyms
it
Correct word choice
, and it
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 will come as soon as possible .It should be as good as
new
Punctuation problem
new,
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then
Linking Words
 I w'll send it
you
Change preposition
to you
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. Again, I am sorry
not
Change preposition
for the delay in
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 telling delayed to you, I hope you will forgive me. Yours sincerely, Sourav singh

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task response
You answer all three parts: you say sorry, tell what happened, and give a plan to fix the car. Make the plan more clear: say who will fix it, when it will be ready, and how you will return it.
task response
Use a more natural first line. For example: “I am very sorry that I damaged your car and did not tell you sooner.” This clearly shows the reason for your letter.
coherence and cohesion
Put your ideas in a clear order: say sorry first, explain the road event next, and give your repair plan at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main point. The first paragraph can be your sorry, the second can explain the rain and the brake problem, and the last can explain the repair.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links to help the reader: “First,” “Then,” “Luckily,” and “Finally.” Avoid “Furthermore” and “Moreover” when they do not add a new main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Check the ending. Write: “I am sorry I did not tell you sooner. I hope you can forgive me.” This is clear and polite.
task response
You include the key facts: the car was damaged, your grandmother was safe, and you have made a plan to repair the car.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a greeting, clear paragraphs, and a polite closing. The story mostly follows a time order.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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