IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The following table and graph give information about the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) and employment sectors of a developing country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The given table and line graph illustrate the sectoral distribution of
employment
Use synonyms
 and
GDP
Use synonyms
 in 1992 and the change of proportions of three main sectors from 1986 to 1995 in a
perticular
Correct your spelling
particular
 developing country.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 1992, the natural resource trade had the highest
employment
Use synonyms
 rate,
while
Linking Words
 services were the largest contributors to
GDP
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the table, natural
resource
Check wording
resources
show examples
 ranked first by
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 margin in terms of
employment
Use synonyms
 rate at 77.4% in1992, followed by the governmental service, recording 8.7% of the total
employment
Use synonyms
. As for
GDP
Use synonyms
, services together accounted for the largest share at 58%, categorised by 37% from trade, restaurants,
hotels
Correct word choice
and hotels
show examples
, 8.4% from transport
communication
Correct word choice
and communication
show examples
, and 12.5% from government. Regarding the change of
GDP
Use synonyms
 distribution, services remained the biggest contributor from 1986 to 1995,
although
Linking Words
 the proportion of that saw a slight decline from about 65% to 55%. In 1986, natural resources represented roughly 28% of the total
GDP
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 industry took up about 10%.
However
Linking Words
, the share of industry overtook that of natural resources after 1994.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, gdp with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: