IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

All university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement. Do you think the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
In the modern world, all
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 should have an undergraduate program
which include
Correct subject-verb agreement
that includes
show examples
 a
where students should spent a period of
Correct word order
period where students can spend
show examples
 time spent studying outside the country or doing a
work
Use synonyms
placement
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
although
Capitalize the word
Although
show examples
this
Linking Words
 trend has several
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
, but advantage outweigh them in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 run.
Body paragraph 1
On the
first
Correct determiner usage
one
show examples
 hand, university plays
and
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
 important role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 learning undergraduate
course
Check wording
courses
show examples
, but spending
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time studying abroad creates stress and depress to that children.
For example
Linking Words
, a boy named Ram went to
study
Use synonyms
 abroad, but because of staying away
form
Use the right word
from
show examples
 his
friend
Check wording
friends
show examples
 and family, he was very
stress
Replace the word
stressed
 and was feeling lonely, because of
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 he
can't
Correct your spelling
couldn't
 focus on his
Use synonyms
study
Check wording
studies
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, doing a
work
Use synonyms
placement
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 create more competition on there
work
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 abroad can
also
Linking Words
 give exposure
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 working with different people, which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them a lot to learn from their
experience
Use synonyms
.
For Instance
Linking Words
, A boy named Raju had gone to
study
Use synonyms
 abroad,
he
Correct word choice
and he
show examples
 had met many different
people
Punctuation problem
people,
show examples
 from
which
Correct pronoun usage
whom
show examples
 he had learned a lot
like ,
Punctuation problem
. Due
show examples
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
his
Punctuation problem
, his
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 skills had developed very much.
Body paragraph 3
Students doing a
work
Use synonyms
placement
Use synonyms
 will get more
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 of getting
work
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
, so that they can learn very easily. Doing a
work
Use synonyms
placement
Use synonyms
 at the time of undergraduate courses will help them to develop their skills
,
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 student will innovate new technology in future, which will help that country in
overall
Linking Words
 growth.
Conclusion
In conclusion, there are many advantages of studying abroad or doing a
work
Use synonyms
placement
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are exposure and
work
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 help to develop skills and
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
country's development
Correct word order
development of the country
show examples
. But there are some disadvantage which are more stress and loneliness
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 create more competition.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first paragraph. Say that the good points are greater than the bad points, and keep this same view in every part.
task response
Explain each main idea more fully. For example, say how work experience helps students get jobs, learn work skills, and know what work they want to do.
task response
Use examples that feel more real and fully explained. The examples of Ram and Raju are linked to the topic, but tell more about what happened and why it proves your point.
task response
Talk about both choices in the question: study in another country and work placement. The essay says more about study in another country, so add a fuller bad point about work placement too.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, bad points, good points, conclusion. This will make your answer easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. Then give an explanation and one example. Do not move to a new idea too quickly.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Instead of 'On the first hand', use 'On the one hand'. Instead of 'On the other hand', use it only when you clearly compare the next side.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same words and ideas, such as 'study abroad', 'work placement', and 'develop skills'. Use clear links between sentences so the reader can see how each idea connects.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give a clear final view that the good points are stronger in the long term.
task response
You include relevant ideas, such as being away from family, meeting new people, and getting work experience.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, so the reader can see the main shape of your answer.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking words, such as 'For example', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • study abroad
  • work placement
  • real-world experience
  • practical skills
  • academic knowledge
  • open-minded
  • independent
  • self-confidence
  • adapt to change
  • career chances
  • cultural understanding
  • language skills
  • financial cost
  • family responsibilities
  • compulsory
  • flexible choice
  • personal growth
  • hands-on learning
  • future employer
  • equal opportunity
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