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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, more and more people are choosing ready-made meals instead of cooking at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
Nowadays, an increasing number of
people
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 are choosing
ready made
Correct your spelling
ready-made
meals
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 rather than preparing
food
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 at home.
This
Linking Words
 trend has become common among busy professionals and students.
Although
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 convenience foods offer several benefits, I believe that their disadvantages are more significant .
Body paragraph 1
One major advantage of ready-made
food
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 is the amount of time it saves.
People
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 with demanding jobs or busy family schedules can simply purchase a meal and eat it without spending time shopping for ingredients, cooking and washing dishes.
This
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 can be especially useful for those who work long hours and have limited opportunities to prepare
meals
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.
Furthermore
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, ready-to-eat
food
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 provides considerable variety, allowing consumers to enjoy dishes from different cuisines without
need
Correct article usage
the need
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 for cooking
food
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Body paragraph 2
However
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, there are several serious drawbacks. First and foremost, many processed
meals
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 contain excessive amounts of salt, sugar, unhealthy fats and preservatives. Regular consumption of
such
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food
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 may increase the risk of obesity, diabetes and other lifestyle-related health problems.
In contrast
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, home-cooked
meals
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 generally enable
people
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 to control the quality and quantity of ingredients. Another concern is the financial cost.
Although
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 an
individual ready-made
Correct word choice
individual-ready
show examples
 meal may seem affordable, purchasing
such
Linking Words
food
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 frequently can be considerably more expensive than preparing
meals
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 from basic ingredients at home.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 ready-to-eat
food
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 is undeniably convenient and time-saving, I believe its negative effects on health, finances and family life outweigh these benefits.
Therefore
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,
people
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 should treat convenience
meals
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 as an occasional option rather than a regular substitute for home cooking.

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Task response
You answer all parts of the question. Your view is clear: the bad sides are stronger. To make the answer even better, explain more fully why harm to health and money is greater than the time saved.
Task response
Your main ideas are clear and on topic. Add one short, real-life example, such as a worker who buys meals every day and spends more money over a month.
Task response
The point about family life appears only in the last paragraph. Either explain it in the main part, or do not include it in the ending.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: opening, good sides, bad sides, and ending. Each paragraph has one main job, so it is easy to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
Your linking words are used well, such as “Although”, “Furthermore”, “However”, “In contrast”, and “Therefore”. You can also link the final view more directly to the two bad points before it.
Coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences more complete and smooth. For example, write “without the need to cook” instead of “without need for cooking food”.
Task response
You give both good and bad sides, then clearly state that the bad sides are stronger.
Task response
The points about saving time, health, and cost are useful and fit the topic well.
Coherence and cohesion
The first and last paragraphs clearly show your main view.
Coherence and cohesion
The use of clear paragraph breaks and signposting makes the essay easy to read.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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