IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
The best method to provide sufficient accommodations in big cities is to build tall apartment blocks. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because
buliding
Correct your spelling
building
towers
Use synonyms
 can make people have enough homes or
evevn
Correct your spelling
even
 more choices
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 building tall
towers
Use synonyms
 can enhance the
beautiy
Correct your spelling
beauty
 of the
Use synonyms
city's
Check wording
cities
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, building
towers
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a huge impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 many aspects.
when
Capitalize the word
When
show examples
 people decide to search for an apartment to live in, it would be good if there
tall
Verb problem
are tall
show examples
towers
Use synonyms
 because it will reflect that
more
Verb problem
there are more
show examples
 choices and easily finding what suits them. A good example of
that is
Linking Words
, applications would be full of free apartments to reserve and more
flexiability
Correct your spelling
flexibility
 with prices
due to
Linking Words
 the multiple choices they have.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if we consider the appearance of the
city
Use synonyms
's it would be much better.
Modren
Correct your spelling
Modern
 cities have usually tall
towers
Use synonyms
 which increase the
city
Use synonyms
's
beauity
Correct your spelling
beauty
 and make it even more
atractive
Correct your spelling
attractive
 to
tourist
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tourists
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if we look at New
Yourk
Correct your spelling
York
City
Use synonyms
 or even Kuala
Lumpur
Punctuation problem
Lumpur,
show examples
 we will see how beautiful
are the cities
Correct word order
the cities are
show examples
 and how many
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 visit every year.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I strongly believe that building
towers
Use synonyms
 is important
as well as
Linking Words
 can enhance the
beauity
Correct your spelling
beauty
 of the
city
Use synonyms
.

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task response
You give a clear view and keep it from start to end. However, explain more clearly why tall blocks are the best way to give homes to many people. Focus on space, land cost, and the number of homes, not only on city beauty.
task response
Your main idea about more choice is useful, but it needs more detail. Say how one tall block can hold many homes on a small piece of land, while low homes need much more space.
task response
The point about making a city more beautiful does not fully answer the question about enough homes. You can still use it as a small extra point, but make housing the main point.
task response
Your examples of New York and Kuala Lumpur show that tall buildings can look good. Add facts that link these cities to housing, such as many people living in flats because land is limited.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and an ending. This makes it easy to follow. Keep this four-part plan.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part start with one clear main idea. For example: 'Tall blocks make better use of limited land.' Then explain it and give one example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' often show two different sides. As you agree fully, use 'First' and 'Second' instead.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because words are missing. For example, write: 'It would be helpful if there were tall blocks, because people would have more choices.' Read each sentence again to check that it has a clear subject and verb.
coherence and cohesion
In the conclusion, restate both main reasons in a short way. Do not only repeat the point about beauty; return to the key idea of providing enough homes.
task response
You answer the question directly and clearly state that you fully agree.
task response
You use real city examples, which helps make your ideas more real.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Paragraphs are used, and each body part has its own main point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • housing shortage = not enough homes for people
  • apartment block = a large building with many flats
  • high-rise building = a very tall building
  • limited land = not much land available
  • population growth = the number of people increases
  • urban spread = the city grows into outer areas
  • public transport = buses, trains, and metro systems
  • living conditions = the quality of daily life at home
  • city planning = the way a city is designed and managed
  • green space = parks and open natural areas
  • daily needs = things people need every day
  • costly land = land that is very expensive
  • mixed housing = different kinds of homes in one area
  • sense of community = the feeling of belonging with neighbors
  • traffic pressure = too many cars on the roads
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