In many countries crime rates among teenagers are higher than among other groups.What are the causes for this problem and what can be done to solve this?

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Introduction
Crime rates in many countries differ
but
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, but
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are
majorly
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mainly
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caused by
teenagers
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as they make up the highest population and are the youth in many countries.
Due to
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various factors associated with increased illegal
activities
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,most of the
teenagers
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also
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end
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up being arrested through juvenile courts,engaged in
community
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cleanup punishments or
end
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up being killed.
Body paragraph 1
One of the major causes for the high crime rates is the
use
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of drugs and substance
abuse
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.Recently,
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use
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the use
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of advanced smoke puffers known as vapes
have
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has
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been introduced as its affordable,easily portable
and
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,
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and can be shared by many
teens
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that
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who
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are used during parties.These
drug-addiction
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drug addictions
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can lead to violence as these
teens
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require
constant
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a constant
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substance supply
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supply of substances,
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hence
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ruining their future and that of their family.
Body paragraph 2
The second major cause is the unsupervised
use
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of technology.Most of the
teenagers
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are well advanced and connected to the internet.They are introduced to the internet systems at a tender age by watching cartoons.As they grow older,most
parents
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tend to restrict
due to
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engagaement
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engagement
with school-related
activities
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such
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as learning and sports.Unfortunately,these
teens
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end
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up saving money,committing
crime
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crimes
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such
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as
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apply
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as stealing from close family members,relatives,friends and later on proceed to robbery with violence as they are
much
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apply
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addicted to the mobile phone
in
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on
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which
tehy
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they
use
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to play online games
such
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as aviator,PUBG,gambling and
also
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watch adult-related content without
audlt
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adult
supervision.
These
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This
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hence
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leads to arrest,murder and injuries as the police track stolen phones or the owners might defend themselves.
Body paragraph 3
In order to reduce
drugs
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drug
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and substance
abuse
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,a collaborative approach is required that brings on board the subject,
parents
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,legal
reforms
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reform
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unit,mental health
counselors
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counsellors
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,
educators
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educators,
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as well as
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the
community
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since
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, since
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this
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these
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combined efforts yields long term solutions that
benefits
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benefit
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all.Drug
abuse
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awareness campaigns,
community
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engagement and sports
activities
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should be conducted to
actiuvely
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actively
engage the
teens
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and make them productive.Schools should
also
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introduce strict
zero-tolrenace
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zero-tolerance
policies and
adherenece
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adherence
to drugs and
susbtance
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substance
abuse
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.Medical examinations should be conducted regularly within the schools to reduce
addicts
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addiction
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.
Also
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,the
parents
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should be vigilant on their child's behaviour,enagage one on one with with them and be present in their children's lives.
Body paragraph 4
Secondly
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,the
use
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of technology and
internet
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the internet
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should be supervised by an adult and a limited time-frame allocated to the
teens
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when using social media platforms
,
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;
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the content posted should
also
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be regulated.
For example
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,screen time should be controlled to reduce addiction and illegal engagement to adult related contents or online games.
Parents
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should monitor their children's mobile phones and should prohibit them from
acquiring outside or
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using
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use
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of the phones
during
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outside during
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school days.The school should
also
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set laws to restrict mobile and gadget
use
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during class hours or within the school premises
and
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, and
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failure to
adherence
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adhere
should lead to
repurcursions
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repercussions
.
Conclusion
In conclusion,the major
violation
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violations
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of the law in many
countires
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countries
are adolescent-related
and
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, and
show examples
they have been engaged in various
activities
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such
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as robbery with violence,murder,theft
among
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, among
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others.
However
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,these
teens
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are mostly underage and
hence
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end
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up serving
community
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jails,juvenile,house arrests and can
also
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be disciplined through
community
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clean-ups for a limited time.
Abuse
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and misuse of resources often
leads
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lead
show examples
to these crimes being
conducted
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conducted,
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coupled
up
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apply
show examples
with minimal parental awareness and engagement
on
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in
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the whereabouts of their
teenagers
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.Legal and
community
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reiforcements
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reinforcements
should be implemented to reduce
further
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loss and damage to both property and people.Parental education should
also
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be conducted as they play a vital role
to curb
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in curbing
show examples
these indecent behaviours and arrest.

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task response
Answer both parts in a more direct way. State two clear causes, then give one matching fix for each cause. Keep the focus on why teens commit crime, not only on what happens after crime.
task response
Make the causes more general and careful. Drug use and phone use can be causes, but explain how they may lead to crime. Do not suggest that most teens who use phones, games, or vapes will steal or hurt people.
task response
Use clear examples that support the main point. For example, say that a teen with a drug habit may steal to pay for it, or that online groups may push some teens to copy harmful acts.
task response
Some ideas are too wide or do not fit the main question, such as death, court punishment, and regular medical checks. Use more space to explain causes and fixes.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two cause parts, two fix parts, and an end. Keep this plan, but make each paragraph shorter and more focused on one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words more carefully: 'First', 'Second', 'As a result', 'For this reason', and 'In conclusion'. This will help the reader follow the link from cause to result and then to the fix.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long sentences with many ideas. Break them into two or three short sentences. This will make the meaning clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same words and ideas, such as 'teens', 'crime', 'phones', and 'arrest'. Use simple other words when possible, such as 'young people', 'offences', or 'this problem'.
coherence and cohesion
Check word forms and spelling because they sometimes block meaning. For example, write 'these drugs', 'an adult', 'their behaviour', 'school rules', and 'failure to follow them'.
task response
You cover both causes and ways to deal with the problem. Drug use, weak adult care, and online use are linked to clear actions by parents, schools, and the community.
task response
You give some specific details, such as school sports, drug awareness work, screen time, and parent support. These make the answer more real.
coherence and cohesion
The main parts are easy to see. You use separate paragraphs for causes, then separate paragraphs for fixes.
coherence and cohesion
The final paragraph returns to the main issue and calls for parent, law, and community action.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • juvenile crime
  • teenage offenders
  • peer pressure
  • parental supervision
  • family breakdown
  • financial hardship
  • unstable home environment
  • negative role models
  • gang involvement
  • school dropout
  • anti-social behaviour
  • youth unemployment
  • community centres
  • after-school programmes
  • preventive measures
  • rehabilitation programmes
  • counselling services
  • stricter law enforcement
  • positive alternatives
  • break the cycle of crime
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