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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the percentage of households with diferent kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999. Summarize the information bselecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph illustrates the proportions of
households
Use synonyms
 in the United States that had a washing machine, computer, phone,
Internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 and
DVD
Use synonyms
 player between 1995 and 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentages of
households
Use synonyms
 with all five types of technology increased over the
period
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 washing machines were the most common technology throughout the
period
Use synonyms
, the figures for
Internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 and
DVD
Use synonyms
 players remained relatively low. Phone
ownership
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 experienced a particularly sharp rise.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the proportions of
households
Use synonyms
 with a washing machine, computer and phone stood at approximately 60%, 40% and 15% in 1995, respectively. All three figures showed an upward trend. Washing machine
ownership
Use synonyms
 rose gradually to around 80% by 1999,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of
households
Use synonyms
 with a computer increased to approximately 70%. The figure for phones grew much more rapidly, reaching about 75%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
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,
Internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 and
DVD
Use synonyms
 player
ownership
Use synonyms
 were considerably less common at the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
. Only around 10% of
households
Use synonyms
 had
Internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 in 1995, but
this
Linking Words
 figure increased steadily to approximately 50% by 1999.
DVD
Use synonyms
 player
ownership
Use synonyms
initially
Linking Words
 fell from about 25% in 1995 to 15% in 1996.
However
Linking Words
, it
then
Linking Words
 rose gradually, reaching around 40% by the end of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words households, internet, access, dvd, period, ownership with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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