IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of adults who participated in different major
sports
Use synonyms
 in a specific area, in 1997 and 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, the largest proportion of people played tennis during both periods.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of swimming participants remained the same,
while
Linking Words
 both basketball and
cricket
Use synonyms
 saw significant changes over the years. Tennis was the most popular major sport in 1997, accounting for 50
thousand
Use synonyms
 players. Swimming was the second most popular sport, which attracted almost 35
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adults. At the same time, the figures showed similarities between
such
Linking Words
 types of
sports
Use synonyms
 as golf, football and rugby. The figures for these three
sports
Use synonyms
 were all just over 30
thousand
Use synonyms
 at the time.
Cricket
Use synonyms
 and basketball remained the least played ones, with
a score
Check wording
scores
show examples
 of approximately 25000 and 8000 people
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. The figures for tennis did not change that much in 2017, increasing to 55
thousand
Use synonyms
 adults.
While
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of football and rugby players grew considerably compared with 1997, reaching almost 50,000 in both
sports
Use synonyms
, with rugby being slightly more popular. The
number
Use synonyms
 of golf and swimming participants showed little to no
changes
Check wording
change
show examples
 over the period.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the total
of
Check wording
number of
show examples
 basketball and
cricket
Use synonyms
 players changed dramatically, with
cricket
Use synonyms
 becoming
less
Correct article usage
a less
show examples
 popular type of sport among them all.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, sports, cricket, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rate
  • increase/decrease in numbers
  • trend
  • decade
  • relatively stable
  • major sports
  • potential reasons
  • contributing factors
  • public interest
  • comparison
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