IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The plans below show the site of a farm in 1950 and the same site today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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Introduction
The Beechwood
Farm
Use synonyms
 we’re seeing today had gone through several changes
than
Change preposition
from what
show examples
 it was in 1950. On the
overall
Linking Words
 landscape, it still stays the same. The
farm
Use synonyms
 is bordered by a
road
Use synonyms
 and circled
around with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a river. What
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it
looks
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
 different is the enhanced functionality.
Body paragraph 1
Looking back at 1950, the land
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 simply intended for a basic
farm
Use synonyms
, including breeding poultry, harvesting fruits and vegetables. The
road
Use synonyms
 for transportation was perfectly accommodating all sections, where the track usually
passed-by
Punctuation problem
passed by
show examples
 in the centre of it. Another unchanged parts are the
area
Use synonyms
 of fruits and vegetables, chicken, and farmhouse.
Body paragraph 2
The major changes happened across from the vegetation
area
Use synonyms
 that
used for a sheep-breeding
Correct word order
was used for sheep breeding
show examples
. Today,
this
Linking Words
 section is divided into 2 different purposes. The
area
Use synonyms
 near the
road
Use synonyms
 is used for a camping site
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the other is intended to transform the sunlight into electricity using
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solar panels,
whereas
Linking Words
 both sides of it
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 each dedicated parking block. To supplement the campsite, the holiday cottages
located
Verb problem
are located
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the intersection of
Use synonyms
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
 and the river.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the visitors
Linking Words
also can
Correct word order
can also
show examples
 visit the Barn that located near the chicken
farm
Use synonyms
,
as well as
Linking Words
 get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
farm
Use synonyms
production
Replace the word
produce
 at the
farm
Use synonyms
 shop.
Conclusion
All in all, the Beechwood that has been diversified with a commercial function today
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 actually used to be a land of
farm
Use synonyms
-production. The
area
Use synonyms
 still
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
show examples
 productive as the vegetation and poultry keep growing,
while
Linking Words
 it
adds-up
Change preposition
adds to
show examples
 the value as a campsite destination.

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task response
Give a clearer main view at the start. Say that the farm kept its old food-growing areas but added visitor and energy uses.
task response
Cover the main changes more fully. State clearly that the sheep area was removed and became a camp site and a solar-panel area. Also name the new holiday homes, barn visit area, farm shop, and car parks.
task response
Be more exact about what stayed the same. The road, river, fruit and vegetable area, chicken area, and farm house should be listed as old parts that remain.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, main view, old farm and parts that stayed the same, then new parts today.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas by place. For example, describe the west side with the camp site and solar panels together, then describe the east side with the holiday homes, barn, and farm shop.
coherence and cohesion
Make links between ideas clear with words such as 'while', 'in contrast', 'to the west', and 'near the river'. Do not use long sentences when a full stop would make the meaning easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea in the last paragraph. End with one short sentence that repeats the main change from a working farm to a place with both farm and visitor use.
task response
You identify the key idea that the site has changed from a simple farm into a place with more uses.
task response
You include several important new features, such as the camp site, solar panels, holiday homes, barn, and farm shop.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear opening, body paragraphs, and a closing paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You try to compare the past and present and use place words such as 'near the road' and 'near the chicken farm'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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