IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that we cannot learn anything from the past for our life today, while others believe that history is a valuable source of information to understand human's life. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
The issue of learning from the past has sparked considerable debate in recent years.Some
people
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 believe that we cannot learn anything from the past for our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 today,
while
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 others argue that
history
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 is a valuable source of
information
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 to understand human life.
This
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 essay will examine both perspectives before offering my own opinion.
Although
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 both arguments have their merits,
firmly
Correct pronoun usage
I firmly
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 believe that we can learn from past
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
 to avoid repeating the same mistakes and improve our
lives
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.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand, those who advocate for the inability to learn from the past argue that they think there is no benefit to past
information
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 because life is easier now than in the past.
For example
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,in the past, there were no technology or machines.
In addition
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, it was difficult for
people
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 to
communecate
Correct your spelling
communicate
 with each other.
For instance
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, if a women want to talk with her family,she must find
thent
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them
 and takes long time, maybe two days.
Furthermore
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,there was no
electric
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electricity
 in past
so
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, so
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 that it was no lights or electricity
which
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, which
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 was a
struggel issue
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struggle
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 for
people
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 to do their daily
lives
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.
For example
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, when a person wants to cook at night,he wants light to see what he is cooking .
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,many who hold the belief that
history
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 is a valuable source of
information
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 to understand emphasise that we can learn and improve our
lives
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 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
past experiences.
For instance
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,
people
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 can learn from past mistakes in their daily
lives
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.If a person knows the problems that happened before,they can avoid making the same mistakes again.
This
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 shows that
history
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 can help
people
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 make better choices.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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 there are valid arguments on both sides,
firmly
Correct pronoun usage
I firmly
show examples
 believe that
history
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 is
valuable
Correct article usage
a valuable
show examples
 source of
information
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.The
reasones
Correct your spelling
reasons
 outlined above clearly demonstrate that its benfical to learn from past experiences.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view. However, make the first view clearer. Explain why new life, new tools, and new problems may make some past lessons less useful today.
task response
Give more full support for each main idea. The first side has many examples about old life, but it does not clearly show why this means we cannot learn from history.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. For the second side, you could write about past wars, past health problems, or a person who learned from an old mistake and made a better plan.
task response
Your own view is clear, but develop it more. Say what people can learn from the past and how this can help life today.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Keep this order, but make each paragraph focus on one main point.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are not clear. After an example, add a short line that explains how it supports the main point.
coherence and cohesion
Do not use many examples in one paragraph if they say the same thing. Choose one strong example, explain it, then move to the next idea.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word and sentence errors, as they can make the meaning hard to follow. For example, use “there was no electricity,” “a woman,” “communicate,” and “experience.”
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you show both views and state your own opinion.
task response
Your main opinion is easy to find: people can learn from past mistakes and make better choices.
coherence and cohesion
The opening tells the reader what the essay will do, and the final paragraph brings back your main view.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words such as “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” to guide the reader.
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