IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the sales of gold in Dubai for 12 months in 2002 in millions of Dirhams. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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This
Linking Words
 line graph indicates the
overall
Linking Words
sale
Check wording
sales
show examples
 of gold in Dubai in the year 2002 and is measured in millions of
dirahms
Correct your spelling
dirhams
. What clearly stands out
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 graph is that Dubai sold gold worth
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
100
million
Use synonyms
of Dhirams
Change preposition
Dirhams
show examples
 every single month in the year of 2002. It
further
Linking Words
 shows that during the month of
March
Add a comma
March,
show examples
 the peak is reached at 350
million
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 significantly decreases to
bottom
Correct article usage
a bottom
show examples
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 around 110
million
Use synonyms
 in July. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 the sales
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 again
up
Punctuation problem
, up
show examples
 to over 200
million
Use synonyms
, only to
then
Linking Words
 sink again to around 110
million
Use synonyms
 in September. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 the sales market recovers slightly in October and reaches 175
million
Use synonyms
where
Punctuation problem
, where
show examples
 it
stabilizes
Change the spelling
stabilises
show examples
 over the next two months. The
overall
Linking Words
 numbers show that the sales started at 200
million
Use synonyms
 in January and almost
end
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 at the same level with around 190
million
Use synonyms
 in December. The difference
from
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the highest peak and the lowest drop is around 240
million
Use synonyms
, which is a significant amount.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gold sales
  • monthly figures
  • millions of dirhams
  • overall trend
  • fluctuate considerably
  • reach a peak
  • the highest figure
  • fall sharply
  • decline gradually
  • hit a low point
  • the lowest level
  • remain stable
  • recover strongly
  • rise steadily
  • a slight dip
  • increase again
  • end the year at
  • approximately
  • respectively
  • a difference of
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