IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The plans below show a small theater in 2010, and the same theater in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
The maps show a small
theatre
Use synonyms
 in 2010, and the same
theatre
Use synonyms
 in 2012.
Body paragraph 1
Overall
Linking Words
, the
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
 has become more visitor-friendly and recreational with the advent of the new
theatre
Use synonyms
 spaces and more facilities for
theatre
Use synonyms
-goers.
Body paragraph 2
In 2010, the
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
 offered a limited number of facilities. Access to the
theatre
Use synonyms
 was from the south, from the main door with a ticket
office
Use synonyms
 and an admin
office
Use synonyms
 to the left, and a café on the other side of the main door. There was a dressing
room
Use synonyms
 in the north part of the
theatre
Use synonyms
, in front of which was
entrance
Correct article usage
an entrance
show examples
 with a long path toward it.
While
Linking Words
 the storage was
suited
Verb problem
situated
show examples
 in the left corner, top of the map, the stage was adjacent to the dressing
room
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In 2012, there were
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significant shifts in the number of facilities. Starting from the left side of the main door, where the restaurant was built, resulting in the disappearance of the admin and ticket offices. The ticket
office
Use synonyms
 replaced the café, and the admin
office
Use synonyms
 was transformed opposite
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the restaurant. The original dressing
room
Use synonyms
 situated at the top of the stage was replaced by a corridor, with a smaller dressing
room
Use synonyms
 relocated to the top left corner. The storage area was moved from the west wall to the east side of the building. A green area was constructed directly below the dressing
room
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Give a clearer main view of the biggest changes. For example, say that the front part was changed for food and office use, while the back part was changed for staff rooms, storage, and a new green area.
task response
Check every change on the plans before you write. Some points are hard to follow, such as the ticket office, admin office, and the place of the new dressing room. Use the plan names and places very carefully.
task response
Compare old and new places in a direct way. Write what was there in 2010, what took its place in 2012, and where it was moved if it was moved.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, main view, 2010 details, and 2012 changes. This will make the report easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear place words such as "to the left of", "to the right of", "at the top", "next to", and "opposite". Some lines now have too many ideas, so the place of each room is not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use short, direct sentences for each change. For example: "The cafe was replaced by a ticket office." Then add the next change in a new sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same spelling throughout: choose either "theatre" or "theater". Also check small word errors, such as "there were significant shifts" rather than "there were a significant shifts".
task response
You give an overview and identify the main idea that the theatre had more visitor spaces and new facilities in 2012.
task response
You include many key areas, such as the cafe, ticket office, admin office, stage, dressing room, storage, and green area.
coherence and cohesion
The report has a clear time order: it first describes 2010 and then explains the changes in 2012.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as "Overall", "While", and "Starting from" to connect ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: