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Writing Samples
Band 4

: Some people belive that the children should focus mainly on academic subjects at school, while others think that schools should also teach practical life skills

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Introduction
It's often argued that children should focus mainly on academic
subjects
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 at
school
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,
while
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 others think that
schools
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 should
also
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 teach practical
life
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skills
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. I completely agree with the idea that
schools
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 must
be
Verb problem
apply
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teach practical
life
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skills
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 with academic
subjects
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 at
school
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 for the kids.
Body paragraph 1
This
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 essay will explain the reasons for my perspective.
Body paragraph 2
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One
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On
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 the
one
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 hand, there are several reasons why some people consider that children should focus primarily on learning academic
subjects
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 from their teachers at
school
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. The main reason is that the education
based
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is based
show examples
 on important
skills
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that
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is what
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 related to academic
subjects
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, so
no
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there is no
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 need to
tack
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take
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 more time
among or
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apply
show examples
in class to teach students practical
life
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skills
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.
For example
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: the government
school
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 in Saudi
Arabi
Correct your spelling
Arabia
 had
specific
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a specific
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 time for all general
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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, the class starting and
finishing for
Wrong verb form
finished
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 every day
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 courses on the schedule,
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also
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and
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this
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 subject
related
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was related
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 only to academic
skills
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.
Body paragraph 3
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One
Use the right word
On
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 the other hand, others consider that
schools
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 should teach the practical
life
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skills
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 with academic
subjects
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.
One
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 important reason is that
grown up the kids behavioral
Correct word order
the kids' behaviour has grown up
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.
For instance
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, PNU
school
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 is a
privet
Correct your spelling
private
school
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they provide the curriculum subject on first 5 classes on schedule
after
Punctuation problem
. After
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that
Punctuation problem
that,
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 the student must
be
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apply
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learn new practical
life
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skills
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.
Body paragraph 4
In
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From
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 my perspective, I believe that
schools
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importantly
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are important
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 to teach practical
life
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skills
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for
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to
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 students.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 there are valid arguments for both views,
but
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apply
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I personally
spouse
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believe
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 that
the
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apply
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practical
life
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skills
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more significant for our kids
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world for the reasons
noticed
Verb problem
noted
show examples
 above.

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task response
Make your main view clear in the first part. Say that schools should teach both school subjects and life skills, and explain why this is the best choice.
task response
Give clear life-skill ideas, such as how to manage money, cook simple food, use time well, or stay safe. Then explain how each skill helps children in real life.
task response
Develop each main point more. Your point about children’s behavior is too short. Show how life skills can help children become more ready for adult life.
task response
Use examples that clearly support your point. The examples about schools in Saudi Arabia and PNU are hard to understand and do not show why one view is better.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, first main idea, second main idea, conclusion. Your essay has this shape, but the ideas inside each part need a clearer order.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with one clear main sentence. Then add an explanation and one example. This will help the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in the right way. For example: “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” are good, but do not repeat your view again in a short new part before the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make your conclusion match your introduction. Do not say “although” with “but” in the same sentence. You can write: “In conclusion, I believe schools should teach life skills as well as academic subjects.”
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
You use an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion, so the essay has a clear overall shape.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use linking phrases such as “For example”, “On the one hand”, and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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