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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The map shows the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant.

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The map shows the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant.
The map
reperesnts
Correct your spelling
represents
 the centre of Paris, with two possible
loacation
Correct your spelling
locations
 for the restaurant, where a company is planning
two
Verb problem
to
show examples
 open a new restaurant.
Overall
Linking Words
, both the
loacations
Correct your spelling
locations
 are near
to
Change preposition
apply
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the places which have
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 number of tourist visits each
day
Use synonyms
, but
loaction
Correct your spelling
location
 2 has the most number of visits compared to
location
Use synonyms
 1 as it's near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the Eiffel Tower. In terms of
location
Use synonyms
 1, which is near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the Maritime Museum to the
west
Use synonyms
 of the right bank and the Aquarium to the
east
Punctuation problem
east,
show examples
 might attract
less customer
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer customers
show examples
.
Beacuse
Correct your spelling
Because
 around 8000 tourists visit the museum,
while
Linking Words
 only 2000 visitors are recorded to visit the Aquarium each
day
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
location
Use synonyms
 1 would have a target of approximately 10000
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 each
day
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
location
Use synonyms
 2 is located right beside the Eiffel Tower to its
west
Use synonyms
 and the Art Gallery to its
west
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
 a Sports centre to the far
west
Use synonyms
 between the metro station and
left
Correct article usage
the left
show examples
 bank.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Eiffel
Correct article usage
the Eiffel
show examples
tower
Capitalize the proper name
Tower
show examples
 alone
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 16000 tourist visits each
day
Use synonyms
, which
surpases
Correct your spelling
surpasses
 the total number of
vistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 from
location
Use synonyms
 1, making it the ideal
location
Use synonyms
 for the restaurant.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words day, location, west with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proximity
  • attractions
  • landmarks
  • boost business
  • public transportation
  • accessibility
  • upscale neighborhood
  • demographic
  • premium
  • menu items
  • competition
  • market saturation
  • rental costs
  • operational costs
  • profit margins
  • foot traffic
  • amenities
  • business offices
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