IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Literacy has traditionally been viewed as largely a third world problem. Discuss possible causes for this and its effect on society.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Nowadays, people view
literacy
Use synonyms
 as a third-world problem.
This
Linking Words
 essay will illustrate the causes and
it's
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 effect on our society.
Body paragraph 1
One of the main causes why reading and writing are seen as an important problem is the modren technology.
This
Linking Words
 is
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 the new type of electronics
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
 individuals away from books and prevents them from advancing their vocabulary. Another major cause is that there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 no writers as there used to be.
For example
Linking Words
, the number of writers is declining dramatically
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, the proportion of books that have been published is decreasing.
Body paragraph 2
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
show examples
 conflicts of
literacy
Use synonyms
 might affect how smart our society members are going to be. Reading will store so many words in your memory, and even spell them. When human beings are no longer reading or writing, it can affect their intelligence.
For example
Linking Words
, you find yourself less smart when you stop reading and writing for a
while
Linking Words
, and you start lacking in those skills. The lack of
intelligent
Replace the word
intelligence
 can be caused by
literacy
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
To sum things up,
literacy
Use synonyms
 is viewed now as a 3rd community conflict. With so many causes,
such
Linking Words
 as modern technology and the loss of writers, it can
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 our generation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it's an important issue that needs to be
seen
Verb problem
addressed
show examples
 before affecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both parts more fully. Explain why low literacy is often linked with poorer countries, such as weak schools, low pay, war, or few books. Your essay mainly talks about people reading less because of phones, which is a different point.
task response
Make your main ideas more clear. Literacy means the skill of reading and writing. It does not mean that there are fewer writers or fewer books. Use causes that directly make people unable to read and write.
task response
Explain the effects on society with fuller detail. You could write about fewer job chances, more poverty, poor health knowledge, and less chance to take part in public life.
task response
Use examples that clearly support your point. Instead of saying that people feel less smart, give a real social example: a parent who cannot read a health note may not know how to help a child.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. Keep this plan, but make each body part focus on one main idea and explain it before moving to an example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly. Use simple links such as “This is because”, “As a result”, “For example”, and “In addition”. Make sure each link shows the right cause or result.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear word groups such as “This conflicts of literacy” and “3rd community conflict”. Use clear terms like “low literacy” or “the lack of reading and writing skills” each time.
coherence and cohesion
The end should sum up your exact answer. State the main causes and the main social effects again in a short, clear way, without adding a new unclear idea.
task response
You try to give causes and effects, so you address both parts of the task.
task response
You include examples about reading, writing, and memory to show what you mean.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “For example”, “therefore”, and “To sum things up”.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: