IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
Firstly
Linking Words
, tall
apartment
Use synonyms
 blocks
economize
Change the spelling
economise
show examples
 land area since it makes use of
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 vertical space
compared
Punctuation problem
, compared
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 to multiple residential areas
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 waste a major portion of area
, multiple
Punctuation problem
. Multiple
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 apartments can squeeze in more
homes
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
on
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 each floor.
Besides
Linking Words
, heavily populated cities are rife with locals and expatriates seeking a place to live
in a
Change preposition
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
 they go about their business there. By utilising the
apartment
Use synonyms
's geometrical structure, more
homes
Use synonyms
 can be provided for them at a cheaper cost.
Body paragraph 1
Moreover
Linking Words
,
apartment
Use synonyms
 blocks usually offer
homes
Use synonyms
 at a price lower than the ones set for onland
homes
Use synonyms
. Bungalows, semi-detached,
double story
Correct your spelling
double-story
 houses and others would usually be a pain in the wallet for someone without a stable or sufficient income, much like those who are new to the city. By building more apartments, more affordable housing can be accessed by many layers of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. To paint a picture, we can
visualize
Change the spelling
visualise
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 an example of a rookie worker at a major firm in a big city like Kuala Lumpur. He or she might not be planning to permanently reside there and raise a family
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 they definitely have the option of a stable house to return to
at the end
Linking Words
 of a day's work. For families, they definitely can benefit the most as they do not have to pay a throat-choking price
while
Linking Words
 still juggling the cost of raising children and dealing with bills and taxes.
Conclusion
In conclusion, governments should implement an urban-planning scheme
which involve
Correct subject-verb agreement
that involves
show examples
 building more tall
apartment
Use synonyms
 blocks in large cities. In doing so, the percentage of homelessness may decrease
largely
Rephrase
significantly
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. Not only that,
the
Correct word choice
but the
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 productivity of the city will improve and boost the country's
overall
Linking Words
 economy.
Homes
Use synonyms
 are crucial for a harmonious and safe community
as well as
Linking Words
healing
Change preposition
for healing
show examples
 one's mental health.
Although
Linking Words
 there may be other mechanisms in place to achieve
this
Linking Words
 common goal, I still stand firm with my reasons.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph. Say that you agree to a large extent, or fully agree, and give the two main reasons that you will explain.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant: tall blocks save land and can give lower-cost homes. Develop each idea with a clearer link to the question. Explain why saving land matters in a large city, such as leaving space for roads, schools, parks, and work places.
task response
Be careful with claims about price. Tall homes are not always cheap because land, building work, and upkeep can cost a lot. You can say they can be more low-cost when built at scale, or when the state helps.
task response
The example of a new worker in Kuala Lumpur is useful, but make it more direct. Explain how a small flat near work can cut travel time and rent costs. The point about families needs a more exact example too.
task response
Add one short point about a limit of tall blocks, such as crowding, lack of green space, or high upkeep. Then explain why good planning can deal with this. This will make your agreement more balanced and strong.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, land-use paragraph, cost paragraph, and conclusion. Your body paragraphs already have a good order, but the introduction is missing.
coherence and cohesion
Make each first sentence state one clear main idea. For example: “Tall apartment blocks are a good way to save land in crowded cities.” Then give an explanation and an example.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and join many ideas. Break them into shorter sentences so the reader can follow your meaning more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “Firstly” and “Moreover” work well, but add clear links inside paragraphs, such as “As a result”, “For this reason”, and “For example”.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear phrases such as “in a while they go about their business there” and “layers of the society”. Use simple, direct words: “while they work in the city” and “people from many income groups”.
task response
You give a clear overall view in the conclusion: you support more tall apartment blocks in large cities.
task response
The essay uses two relevant reasons: better use of land and homes that may be easier to pay for.
task response
The Kuala Lumpur worker example helps show who may need a flat in a large city.
coherence and cohesion
The two body paragraphs have a sensible order, moving from land use to cost.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion returns to the main point and brings the essay to a clear end.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • housing shortage = not enough homes for people
  • apartment block = a large building with many flats
  • high-rise building = a very tall building
  • limited land = not much land available
  • population growth = the number of people increases
  • urban spread = the city grows into outer areas
  • public transport = buses, trains, and metro systems
  • living conditions = the quality of daily life at home
  • city planning = the way a city is designed and managed
  • green space = parks and open natural areas
  • daily needs = things people need every day
  • costly land = land that is very expensive
  • mixed housing = different kinds of homes in one area
  • sense of community = the feeling of belonging with neighbors
  • traffic pressure = too many cars on the roads
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