IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Nowadays, more and more people engage in dangerous activities, such as sky diving and motorcycling. Are you in favor of them? Use examples to support your opinion.

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Introduction
The issue of engaging in
dengerous activites
Correct your spelling
dangerous activities
 has sparked considerable debate in recent years
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it is marvellous
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that it is dangerous
activities
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both perspectives before offering my own opinion.
Although
Linking Words
 both arguments have their merits,I firmly believe that it is
hazardous
Correct article usage
a hazardous
show examples
Use synonyms
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand,those who advocate for engaging in these
activities
Use synonyms
 argue that they provide excitement and adventure.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who try sky diving can see clouds and many countries from a distance,which is magnificant activite.
In addition
Linking Words
,motrocycling is
adventurous
Correct article usage
an adventurous
show examples
 activity but challenging
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 many
teengares
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 tried it .
For example
Linking Words
,when my brother was in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school,he came back to our home
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a big
motrocycle
Correct your spelling
motorcycle
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many who hold the belief that engaging in dangerous
activities
Use synonyms
emphasise
Verb problem
should be banned emphasise
show examples
 that it should be banned because many
people
Use synonyms
 might die .
For example
Linking Words
,if a
teenager
Replace the word
teenage
 boy rides
motorcycle
Correct article usage
a motorcycle
show examples
 without
adult
Correct article usage
an adult
show examples
man ti
Correct your spelling
to
 help him,he will accident and might die.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,dangerous
activities
Use synonyms
 may affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
mently
Correct your spelling
mentally
.
For instance
Linking Words
,if a woman tries
a sky diving
Correct your spelling
skydiving
,she might feel
stress
Replace the word
stressed
 or frightened.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 there are valid arguments on both sides,I firmly believe that dangerous
activities
Use synonyms
 should
ban
Wrong verb form
be banned
show examples
 for
teengares
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 or children.The reasons outlined above clearly
demonstaretes
Correct your spelling
demonstrate
 that it might affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people live
Check wording
people's lives
show examples
.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first part. Say if you are for or against these activities, and explain why.
task response
Your main view is against dangerous activities, but the first body part has ideas for them. Make each part clear: one part for good points and one part for bad points.
task response
Develop each main idea more. For example, explain how sky diving may build courage or how safe rules can lower the risk.
task response
Use examples that clearly show your point. The story about your brother coming home on a big motorbike does not show why motorcycling is good or bad.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Keep this four-part plan.
coherence and cohesion
Start each new part with one clear main idea. Then add an example and explain how the example supports that idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. You use “For instance”, “In addition”, and “Furthermore” well, but some sentences still jump from one idea to another.
coherence and cohesion
Make the end match your view. Write that these activities should be banned for children and teens, or say they should only be done with safe rules. Do not say all dangerous activities should be banned unless you fully support this idea.
task response
You answer the question and give your own view in the end.
task response
You include examples about sky diving and motorcycling.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful linking words to join ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Adrenaline rush
  • Thrill-seeker
  • Personal growth
  • Self-confidence
  • Social interaction
  • Like-minded individuals
  • Skill development
  • Concentration
  • Coordination
  • Discipline
  • Risk management
  • Safety awareness
  • Mental barriers
  • Challenge
  • Stress-relieving
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