IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

An increased number of people today change their career more than once in their lives. What are the reasons of this trend? Is it a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
Education is crucial for humanity.
Also
Linking Words
, it becomes more common that age does not matter. Nowadays, the population is
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
 on school to change their career multiple times. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 would like to go over the
posivive
Correct your spelling
positive
 and possible negative
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, having experience is needed
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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 instance, working in
emergency
Correct article usage
an emergency
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 room,
in
Correct word choice
and in
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 finance
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
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 experience.
Overall
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, many individuals are moving from their position
most
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, most
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 likely
they
Wrong verb form
to
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 get a better job.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 could say
they
Correct determiner usage
the
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 possible reasons are
:
Punctuation problem
apply
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economic and better
opportunity
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opportunities
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, some
jobs employment
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job seekers
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 are online;
base
Wrong verb form
based
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 on family obligation jobs seeker can spend time
while
Linking Words
 working at home.
However
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,
multiple task
Correct your spelling
multiple-task
 people would have to manage work and
house work
Correct your spelling
housework
 at the same time.
Conclusion
To summarise, citizens nowadays are changing their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, experiences are crucial for certain
categorie
Correct your spelling
categories
; they step forward and get new skills.
Moreover
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, taking classes or
from
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pursuing
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 a degree to a specialization including older adults.
Also
Linking Words
, new
option
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options
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 from COVID people prefer working online
;
Punctuation problem
,
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 and
the
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can manage their time.

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task response
Answer both parts in a clear way. Explain why people change jobs, then say if this is more good or more bad. Your view is not clear now.
task response
Give two clear reasons, such as better pay and new skills. Explain each reason with a short real-life example.
task response
Keep your ideas on career change. The point about school and age is not fully linked to the question. Show how study helps people move to a new job.
task response
For the good and bad sides, give one full point for each side. For example, a new career can give better work and pay, but it can also bring stress and less job safety.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, reasons, good and bad sides, conclusion. Make each paragraph focus on one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with a clear main sentence. Then explain it and add an example before you move to the next idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use links carefully: “First,” “For example,” “However,” and “As a result.” This will help the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Do not put many different ideas in one long sentence. Write shorter sentences, and make the link between career change, study, online work, and family needs clear.
task response
You give some useful reasons for career change, such as better jobs, money, new skills, family needs, and online work.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main parts, and a conclusion. You also use signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To summarise.”
task response
You try to look at both good and bad parts of the trend, which is a good way to answer the full question.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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