IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that cooking is an important skill for young people to learn. Other believe that is better for people to learn how to cook after they become adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Many
people
Use synonyms
 think of cooking is a crucial part of mankind
people
Use synonyms
 have different considerations on
this
Linking Words
 View.when
people
Use synonyms
 are growing up to theirs at the age of an adult, they definitely need to take care of themselves.
Body paragraph 1
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 live in
occupied
Correct article usage
an occupied
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 world. everyone you
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have
time
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 to work together.
cooking
Capitalize the word
Cooking
show examples
 is still one of the valuable
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
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 for us to live into better
life
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 and
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a
hygenic
Correct your spelling
hygienic
 way.
apart
Capitalize the word
Apart
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 from
that
Punctuation problem
that,
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 some
people
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 give much
time
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for
Change preposition
to
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 cooking
skill
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skills
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.
Although
Linking Words
 they could not make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good and healthy food at
right
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the right
show examples
time
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. For eating and
enjoying
Punctuation problem
enjoying,
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 they go
for
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apply
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somewhere
sometime
Rephrase
sometimes
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.
Body paragraph 2
As
Change preposition
From
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 an adult's perspective, they need to do it a lot.
when
Capitalize the word
When
show examples
 they separate from their parents
due to
Linking Words
 some reasons, cooking skills and how to cook
is a
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 paramount for them.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 cooking
assist
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helps
show examples
people
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to
Wrong verb form
apply
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earn some money
as well as
Linking Words
 keep living
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life long for a long
Correct word order
a long life
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time
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 without any harmful
disease
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diseases
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.
Body paragraph 3
Moreover
Linking Words
, many restaurants are being opened and run for earnin some money
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 several
people
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make it have
Correct word order
have made it
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 a habit
working
Verb problem
to work in a working
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 environment
Punctuation problem
, that
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that even though
Correct word choice
where
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 traditional cooking is a big
challange cooking
Correct your spelling
challenge
rather
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, rather
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 than morden can
better
Verb problem
be better
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 than
old
Correct article usage
the old
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 ones.
Conclusion
From
the
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apply
show examples
both
point
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points
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 of view,
people
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 are to be knowable on these two things. As it is an
evitable
Correct your spelling
inevitable
 part of human
life
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, living a
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 and
hygenic
Replace the word
hygiene
 are to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
rely on cooking
way
Check wording
ways
show examples
 without any
hesistance
Correct your spelling
hesitation
.

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task response
Discuss both sides in clear, full paragraphs. Explain why young people should learn cooking, then explain why some people think adults should learn it later. State your own view clearly and keep it the same from start to end.
task response
Your main idea is that cooking is important for adult life, but the other view is not explained enough. Add reasons such as young people can save money, eat healthy food, and help at home. For the adult view, say that adults may have more time, money, and real need to cook.
task response
Use real and clear examples. For example, a student who can cook rice, eggs, and soup may spend less money on food and may eat less fast food. Make sure each example directly supports one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make a simple plan: introduction, one paragraph for learning young, one paragraph for learning as an adult, your view, and conclusion. This will help the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Start each paragraph with one clear main sentence. Then give a reason and an example. Some parts now move from cooking skills to restaurants without a clear link.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in the right way: “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For example”, “However”, and “In conclusion”. Do not use many ideas in one very long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Check basic sentence form and word choice. For example, write “Cooking is a crucial skill” instead of “Many people think of cooking is a crucial part of mankind.” Write “People live busy lives” instead of “Nowadays people live in occupied world.”
task response
You understand that cooking can help people care for themselves when they live away from their parents.
task response
You try to give a real-life benefit: cooking may help people stay healthy and may also help them earn money.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, body paragraphs, and a final paragraph, so there is a basic essay shape.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “Although”, “For example”, and “Moreover”, to connect ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Culinary skills
  • Life skill
  • Independence
  • Healthy eating
  • Cultural heritage
  • Resource allocation
  • Academic priorities
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Refinement of skills
  • Advanced techniques
  • Practicality
  • Lifestyle adaptations
  • Foundational knowledge
  • Curriculum
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