IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You study at a college in the city centre. You use public transport to get to the college but the bus service you use has changed. Write a letter to the manager of the bus company. In the letter, -Say who you are and the details of service you use -Explain the problem with the bus service -Suggest what you think the manager should do

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Dear Sir or Madam, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. I am writing to notify a change
,
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apply
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 which I observed related to the public transportation
service
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. I use your
bus
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service
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 for my college
but
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, but
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 I recently noticed that it has changed.
Firstly
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, my name is Taylor, I have been using
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bus
Correct article usage
the bus
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service
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that is
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 located at
city
Correct article usage
the city
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center
Change the spelling
centre
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, which goes directly to Downtown Toronto. I use
this
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service
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 on weekdays at 9 AM, not only is it convenient, but
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also it is
Correct word order
it is also
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 cheap compared to
others
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other
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 services.
However
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, I have recently observed that it gets delayed regularly,
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due to that
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so
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 I am not able to
reach
Verb problem
arrive
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 on time to my college. Even sometimes it gets cancelled
before
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without
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 any prior notice, and the status of the
bus
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service
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 is not getting updated on
TTC
Correct article usage
the TTC
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 website. I would appreciate it if you could take
an
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apply
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immediate action on it. I would suggest
to notify
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notifying
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 via message atleast before 2-3 hours
so
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before so
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 we can take other services for our daily
communte
Correct your spelling
commute
 or update in real-time on
website
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the website
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 whether the
bus
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 will
going to
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apply
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be delayed or cancelled. Looking forward
for
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to
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 your prompt response. Yours sincerely, Taylor

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task response
Give the bus number, the stop near your college, and the days you use it. This will help the manager find the problem.
task response
Make your main problem more clear. Say how often the bus is late, how long you wait, and how this affects your class time.
task response
Your ideas for messages and live website news are good. Also ask the company to run the bus on time or send another bus when one is not running.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraph starts, such as “I am writing about bus 25” and “The main problem is...”. This will make the letter easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main point in each paragraph: who you are and the bus you use, the problem, then what you want the company to do.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words, such as “First”, “However”, “As a result”, and “Therefore”, to show how your ideas join together.
coherence and cohesion
Use full sentences and avoid very long sentences with many ideas. For example, split the part about late buses, cancelled buses, and website news into separate sentences.
task response
You answer all parts of the letter: you say who you are, explain the late and cancelled buses, and give ideas for change.
task response
The tone is polite, and your ending asks for a quick reply in a good way.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, a paragraph about the problem, and a final paragraph with your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You use words such as “Firstly”, “However”, and “Even sometimes” to help the reader follow your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public transport
  • bus service
  • inconvenience
  • schedule change
  • travel time
  • commute
  • reinstatement
  • feedback
  • survey
  • accessibility
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