IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
Nowadays, it is true that an important part of the population is debating the idea of building tall apartment blocks to provide enough homes in large cities around the world. I totally agree with the idea of building infrastructure to offer homes for every citizen.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, building a large number of tall apartment blocks can be very efficient in small spaces in big cities. It can help citizens with low incomes to find accommodations in their budget as well.
For example
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, a study conducted by the University of Paris and published by the famous Scientist called Gadile in 2020 proves that a large part of the population believes that building tall condominiums in large cities can give many opportunities for a lot of people to find safe accommodations for low prices.
Body paragraph 2
Then
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, it is fundamental to take into account the environmental system and the harmful effects that constructions of basements, apartments, and buildings can have on our planet.
Therefore
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, every country should take into account the importance of a sustainable vision of infrastructure.
For instance
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, in Portugal, the government tried to find solutions that everyone needs to follow. With the intention of polluting less and finding some specific areas to construct without impacting the environment ,
this
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 is a good step for our planet.
Conclusion
To conclude
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, I definitely think that it is necessary to create a condominium to find solutions,
above all
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 , that everyone needs to have the possibility to find accommodations and solutions ,
also
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 regarding the large pollution that it can give rise to.

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree that tall homes can help cities. However, explain more fully why this is the best way, not only one useful way. Compare tall blocks with other ideas, such as building homes outside the city or using empty homes.
task response
Your first main point is good: tall blocks can give many homes in a small area and may cost less. Add a clear reason for each link. For example, say that land in large cities is limited and costly, so taller buildings can hold more families on the same land.
task response
The second body paragraph changes to the harm to the environment, but it does not clearly show how this supports your agreement. State that tall blocks may use less land than many low homes, but they must be planned well to cut harm.
task response
Avoid using a study when you cannot explain it well. The Paris example is not needed and the name is unclear. A simple, real-life example would be stronger, such as a tall block near trains that lets people live close to work.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer plan: introduction with your view, one paragraph on space and cost, one paragraph on land and the environment, then a short conclusion. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between sentences more direct. For example: “Tall blocks also protect open land. As they house many people on one site, cities do not need to spread into parks or farm land.”
coherence and cohesion
Some phrases are too long or unclear, such as “a condominium to find solutions.” Use short, direct sentences. Say “Cities should build tall apartment blocks, but they should also make them safe and green.”
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat broad words such as “solutions,” “accommodations,” and “everyone needs.” Use more exact words: homes, low-cost housing, land, families, and city planning.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and keep the same view in the conclusion.
task response
You include two useful ideas: saving space in large cities and reducing harm to the environment.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two main paragraphs, and a conclusion, so the reader can see the main shape of your answer.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “First of all,” “Therefore,” “For instance,” and “To conclude” help show the order of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • housing shortage = not enough homes for people
  • apartment block = a large building with many flats
  • high-rise building = a very tall building
  • limited land = not much land available
  • population growth = the number of people increases
  • urban spread = the city grows into outer areas
  • public transport = buses, trains, and metro systems
  • living conditions = the quality of daily life at home
  • city planning = the way a city is designed and managed
  • green space = parks and open natural areas
  • daily needs = things people need every day
  • costly land = land that is very expensive
  • mixed housing = different kinds of homes in one area
  • sense of community = the feeling of belonging with neighbors
  • traffic pressure = too many cars on the roads
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