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Writing Samples
Band 2

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films, and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
In recent years, many
people
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 believe that travel to new places is not important
to learn
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for learning
show examples
 about their
cultures
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 and background. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the
advanteges
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advantages
 and
disadvanteges
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disadvantages
 of
traveling
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travelling
show examples
to other countries. before presenting my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
There are many
people
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do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
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 not like
traveling
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travelling
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 to other places,
they
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and they
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also
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 like staying in their home.
In addition
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, they prefer reading to
traveling
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travelling
show examples
,
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;
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 they read about a new culture.
they
Capitalize the word
They
show examples
 think reading about
cultures
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 is enough. May they want to
tevel
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travel
 about
palces
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places
,
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apply
show examples
 that are forpeden from governments or
ticketes
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tickets
 are
expenceive
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expensive
. So
that
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apply
show examples
, they prefer watching films or reading books about that place.
However
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,
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This
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this
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is a good behaviour to save their money
,
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apply
show examples
and their effort . on another hand , the discover humane prefer trviling to reading because he notes
cultures
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 in his book, he wants to say new
cultures
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 and background, he
want
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wants
show examples
 to improve himself.
This
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 is his job.
Conclusion
In conclusion,In my opinion , I agree with
people
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do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
show examples
 not like
traveling
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travelling
show examples
, because I am not excited to learn about a new culture. So
that
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apply
show examples
, I think
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 is not necessary for me.
May
Use the right word
Maybe
show examples
 it is necessary
for
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to
show examples
 discover
people
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first part. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree. Then keep this same view in the whole essay.
task response
Write about the main question: can books, films, and the internet teach people as much as travel? Do not mainly write about people who like or do not like travel.
task response
Develop each main idea. For example, books and films can teach facts, history, and daily life, but travel can show real people, food, sounds, and ways of life.
task response
Use clear, real examples. You could say that a film can show a festival, but being at the festival helps a visitor understand how people feel and act.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, first main idea, second main idea, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with one clear main sentence. Then add two or three sentences that explain it and give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words used in the right way, such as “First”, “However”, “For example”, “Also”, and “In conclusion”.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long sentences joined only by commas. Make shorter sentences so the reader can follow your ideas more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Make the conclusion match your main view. Your last part should sum up why you agree or disagree, not add a new idea.
task response
You give your own view in the conclusion, so the reader can see your main choice.
task response
You mention both travel and learning from books and films, which are important parts of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, a main body, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You try to show a different view with “However”, which is a good way to compare ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Authentic experiences
  • Cultural immersion
  • Sensory learning
  • Cost-effective
  • Language barriers
  • Interpersonal interactions
  • Balanced approach
  • Virtual tours
  • Lived experiences
  • Credibility of sources
  • Misconceptions
  • Multicultural competency
  • Stimulate curiosity
  • Digital platforms
  • Stereotypes
  • Environmentally sustainable
  • Hands-on experience
  • Global perspective
  • Biased information
  • Cultural nuances
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