The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The
given first bar graph illustrate on
Correct word order
first bar graph given illustrates the
show examples
goals of
academic
Correct article usage
an academic
show examples
career, categorised into two factors,
while
Linking Words
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
bar graph illustrates
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employers preferance towards employees
education
Use synonyms
,
according to
Linking Words
their
age
Use synonyms
groups. Figures are given in percentages. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
perspective, it is evident that
career focused
Correct your spelling
career-focused
education
Use synonyms
accounted for relatively the highest preference among youngsters,
while
Linking Words
interest based
Correct your spelling
interest-based
education
Use synonyms
has increased
according to
Linking Words
the
age
Use synonyms
stages. Apart from that, youngsters
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
received the massive aid from their workplace,
while
Linking Words
(30-39) ages was received the least support.
To begin
Linking Words
,
tender
Correct article usage
the tender
show examples
age
Use synonyms
group stood at 80, as the largest proportion for the
career centered
Correct your spelling
career-centred
academic,
while
Linking Words
their counterparts, who looked for
interst
Correct your spelling
interest
learning, reached
apparantly
Correct your spelling
apparently
eight times lower than them,
where
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
showed the largest gap between the two enthusiasts in the same
age
Use synonyms
group.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
(
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
40-49
)
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
age
Use synonyms
group reported the same rate for their desire
on studying
Wrong verb form
to study
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when the individuals
grown
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
up, they tended to learn for their interest,
than
Correct word choice
rather than
show examples
their vocational purposes, which recorded half a difference. It is worth noticing that
,
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
under 26
ages
Check wording
years
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
received the highest assistance from their employer
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
for their
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
other counterparts showed considerably lower
prefernce
Correct your spelling
preference
. More
interstingly
Correct your spelling
interestingly
, (20-29) ages accounted for the second largest team,
while
Linking Words
elderly employees depicted a slight
differance
Correct your spelling
difference
between them, which stood at just 40, as the third most considerable rate.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words education, age with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "considerably" was used 2 times.
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