IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

How does access to healthcare vary between countries?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
In my opinion, healthcare access between
countries
Use synonyms
 differs significantly. It largely depends on the Government’s priority.
For example
Linking Words
, developed
countries
Use synonyms
 have limited resources and must divide public spending among essential services, including infrastructure, education and healthcare,
while
Linking Words
 advanced
countries
Use synonyms
 already have proper infrastructure and focus on upgrading healthcare policy.
As a result
Linking Words
, high-income
countries
Use synonyms
 often provide broader coverage and more specialised care,
while
Linking Words
 lower-income
countries
Use synonyms
 may face shortages and unequal access, especially in rural areas.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your main idea is clear: care is not the same in all countries. To make the answer more complete, explain more than one cause, such as money, the number of doctors, distance, and public health plans.
task response
Add a real or clear example. For example, say that people in far villages may travel many hours to see a doctor, while people in rich cities may see a doctor much more easily.
task response
Be careful with the words “developed” and “advanced”. They can sound like the same group. Use “high-income” and “lower-income” countries to make the contrast clear.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraph has a clear order: opinion, reason, example, and result. Keep this order in a longer answer by giving one main point in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
The first sentence works well as an opening, but add a short final sentence to sum up your view. This will make the answer feel complete.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words such as “first”, “also”, “however”, and “therefore” to show how each idea connects. Do not use too many of them in one sentence.
coherence and cohesion
The sentence about public spending is useful, but it is not fully clear why it is about developed countries. Explain this point more directly, or move it to a separate sentence.
task response
You directly answer the question and clearly compare high-income and lower-income countries.
task response
Your point about less care in rural areas is important and relevant.
coherence and cohesion
The use of “For example” and “As a result” helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing stays focused on healthcare access and does not add off-topic ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: