IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Artificial intelligence is increasingly being used to make decisions in areas such as recruitment, education and financial services. Some people believe these decisions should be made entirely by humans. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

7.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
It is often argued that
decisions
Use synonyms
 in areas
such
Linking Words
 as recruitment, education and financial services should be made entirely by humans.
However
Linking Words
, I personally agree with the
view
Use synonyms
 that artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 should be used to make
such
Linking Words
decisions
Use synonyms
 because it can
analyse
Use synonyms
 large amounts of
information
Use synonyms
 quickly and reduce human error.
Body paragraph 1
The primary reason why I agree with
this
Linking Words
view
Use synonyms
 is that artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 can
analyse
Use synonyms
 large amounts of
information
Use synonyms
 quickly.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because AI systems can process thousands of pieces of data in a very short time,
whereas
Linking Words
 humans may need much more time to examine the same
information
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, AI can compare and organise a large amount of
information
Use synonyms
 more efficiently than people.
For example
Linking Words
, a company can use AI to examine thousands of CVs and identify candidates whose qualifications match the requirements of a particular job.
As a result
Linking Words
, the recruitment process can become faster and more efficient.
Therefore
Linking Words
, AI can be a useful tool for making
decisions
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another important reason why I agree with
this
Linking Words
view
Use synonyms
 is that artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 can reduce human error.
This
Linking Words
 is because people may make mistakes when they have to
analyse
Use synonyms
 a large amount of
information
Use synonyms
, especially when they are tired or under pressure.
For instance
Linking Words
, a bank can use an AI system to
analyse
Use synonyms
 financial
information
Use synonyms
 and identify unusual transactions or assess loan applications systematically.
Consequently
Linking Words
, some mistakes caused by human limitations can be reduced.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
view
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I firmly agree with the
view
Use synonyms
 that artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 should be used to make
decisions
Use synonyms
 in areas
such
Linking Words
 as recruitment, education and financial services.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 can
analyse
Use synonyms
 large amounts of
information
Use synonyms
 quickly and reduce human error.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your view is clear from the start, and you answer the question well. To make the answer stronger, say more clearly that AI should help people, rather than make every final choice alone. This would deal more fully with the words “entirely by humans” in the question.
task response
Your two main ideas are good: speed and fewer mistakes. Add one short point about a risk, such as unfair data or a case where a person should check the AI result. Then explain why you still support AI use.
task response
The examples about CVs and bank work fit your ideas. Make them more exact by showing what a human should do after AI finds suitable people or unusual bank activity.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, two main parts, and ending. Each main part has one clear idea, an explanation, and an example.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are used too often, especially “This is because”, “For example”, “Therefore”, and “As a result”. Use a wider range of simple links, such as “Also”, “However”, “For this reason”, and “In this way”.
coherence and cohesion
The last sentence of each main part repeats the main idea. Instead, use that space to add a small final point or link the idea back to human decision-making.
task response
You give a clear opinion and keep it the same throughout the essay.
task response
Your ideas are relevant to recruitment and financial services, and your examples support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are easy to follow, with clear topic sentences and a logical order.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending clearly state your main view and main reasons.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: