IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Today ,people are using the things and throwing or replacing it with latest models or latest fashion. Do the disadvantages of throwaway society outweigh any possible economic advantage ?

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Introduction
The topic of using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things
Use synonyms
 and throwing or replacing
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
 with
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
models
Use synonyms
 or
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
fashion
Use synonyms
 has sparked considerable debate in recent years.Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that replacing or throwing
things
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 several
benefits
Use synonyms
 that will affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that its drawbacks
exceeded
Wrong verb form
exceed
show examples
 its
benefits
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore the advantages and disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand,the major benefit of using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things
Use synonyms
 and throwing or replacing
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
 with
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
models
Use synonyms
 or
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
fashion
Use synonyms
 is
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 notion for
people
Use synonyms
 who
interested
Verb problem
are interested
show examples
 in trends and
fashion
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,if a woman
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
show examples
 as a famous model,she will be attracted
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 new clothes and boots.
In addition
Linking Words
,using the
things
Use synonyms
 and replacing
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
 with
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
models
Use synonyms
 or
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
fashion
Use synonyms
 can
supports
Wrong verb form
support
show examples
 the country`s economy.
For example
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,if many
people
Use synonyms
 buy more
staff
Use the right word
stuff
show examples
,the economy will
growth
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,despite having several
benefits
Use synonyms
 of using the
things
Use synonyms
 and throwing or replacing
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
 with
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
models
Use synonyms
 or
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
Use synonyms
fashion
Punctuation problem
fashion,
show examples
 there are many drawbacks as well.First,
this
Linking Words
 idea
migh
Correct your spelling
might
 lead to poverty in the country.
For instance
Linking Words
,if
people
Use synonyms
throwing
Wrong verb form
throw
show examples
 many
things
Use synonyms
 from their houses ,the salaries of
people
Use synonyms
 might dicrease in turn of that
people
Use synonyms
 cannot
affort
Use the right word
afford
show examples
 their food.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 notion
Linking Words
also can
Correct word order
can also
show examples
 impact
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
as well
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,if
people
Use synonyms
throwing
Wrong verb form
throw
show examples
 many
things
Use synonyms
 ,it might lead to pollution in the country.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
using the
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
things
Use synonyms
 and
throwing
Wrong verb form
throw
show examples
 or replacing it with
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
models
Use synonyms
 or
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
fashion
Use synonyms
 offer significant
benefits
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the economy,it is important to acknowledge the drawbacks.
Such
Linking Words
 as,
pullotion
Correct your spelling
pollution
,and poverty.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. You need to say if the bad sides are greater than the good sides. Your last paragraph says there are good and bad sides, but it does not clearly say which side is stronger.
task response
Give more clear ideas about the economic good side. Explain how buying new things can help shops, workers, and companies. Then explain why this good side is less important than the harm.
task response
Some examples do not show a clear cause and result. Throwing things away does not directly make salaries go down or cause poverty. Use stronger points, such as people spending too much money, more waste, and harm to land and water.
task response
Make your examples more real and full. For example, say that phones, clothes, and home goods are thrown away even when they still work. This creates more rubbish and uses more energy to make new goods.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, good sides, bad sides, and end. Keep this shape, but make the main view clear in the first paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each body paragraph. Start with a clear first sentence, explain the idea, give an example, and then link it back to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the full topic many times. Use shorter words such as “this trend”, “buying new goods”, “replacing old items”, or “a throwaway way of life”.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “For example”, “In addition”, and “On the other hand” are helpful, but make sure the next sentence really supports the point before it.
coherence and cohesion
Improve sentence links and grammar so the reader can follow your meaning. For example, write “the economy will grow”, “people cannot afford food”, and “this may harm the environment”.
task response
You discussed both the economic good side and the bad sides for people and the environment.
task response
You included examples in both main body paragraphs, which shows an effort to explain your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has separate paragraphs for the good side and the bad side, so the reader can see your main plan.
coherence and cohesion
You used useful signpost words, such as “On one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “To sum up”.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Disposable culture
  • Planned obsolescence
  • Sustainable development
  • Circular economy
  • Consumerism
  • Environmental degradation
  • Resource depletion
  • Ecological footprint
  • Waste management
  • Conspicuous consumption
  • Product lifecycle
  • Repair and maintenance economy
  • Downcycling
  • Material resource efficiency
  • Behavioural shift
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