IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people says that companies and people should pay for the waste pollution the produces not the government. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Nowadays,
waste
Use synonyms
 is undeniably issues to manage by.
While
Linking Words
 some people may think the
government
Use synonyms
 plays a main role
to handle
Change preposition
in handling
show examples
this
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 problem, I side with those who
belives
Correct your spelling
believe
 that
companies
Use synonyms
 and people, as parties who created the
waste
Use synonyms
, need to be responsible by paying several amount of money.
Body paragraph 1
In terms of creating the contamination,
companies
Use synonyms
 and society are the main characters. Several
companies
Use synonyms
' business processes can lead to
waste
Use synonyms
 production.
For example
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, restaurants produce leftovers, and garment factories cause unproductive materials.
Besides
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, people
also
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 create pollution from their
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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,
such
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 as uneaten food or unusable electronics.
As a result
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from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 those activities, I strongly agree that they are obligated to pay some kind of tax. These fees would encourage
business
Check wording
businesses
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 to use
system
Correct article usage
a system
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 that
more
Verb problem
is more
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environmental
Replace the word
environmentally
 friendly, and drive
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society to apply responsible consumption.
Furthermore
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, the money collected can be used to protect
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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, clean polluted rivers, and improve
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
waste
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 management systems.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, the
government
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 needs to be
incharge
Correct your spelling
in charge
 too. The official
act
Correct subject-verb agreement
acts
show examples
 as the party
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 created the laws and
controlled
Wrong verb form
controls
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 business compliance.
Linking Words
Due to
Correct word choice
Since
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 some
companies
Use synonyms
 may try to avoid paying, they need to strictly monitor the tax system.
In addition
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, the
government
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also
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 needs to enforce the regulations
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 considering several crucial aspects,
such
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 as the company's size and the income level of
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
. They need to set fair systems for all.
Conclusion
In conclusion, whether businesses, society, and the official have their own role in
waste
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 management. Their
well
Rephrase
apply
show examples
cooperation is the
success
Check wording
apply
show examples
key to
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 and
control
Wrong verb form
controlling
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 pollution. I agree that the polluters are the
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
 who need to pay
charge
Correct article usage
the charge
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to be supported by responsible
government
Use synonyms
 policy.

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task response
State your view more directly in the first part. Say that you agree that people and firms should pay, but the state must make and check fair rules.
task response
Develop each main point with one clear reason and one full example. For example, explain how a fee can make a factory use less plastic, sort waste, or use clean ways of work.
task response
Be careful not to shift from your view. Your second body part is useful, but make clear that the state has a support and control role, not the main duty to pay for all waste.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: view, reasons, state role, and end. Keep this plan, but begin each body part with a short main idea sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words to show the step in your ideas: “First”, “For example”, “As a result”, “However”, and “Therefore”. Do not use too many link words in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences shorter and clearer. For example, write “Companies and people create most waste. Therefore, they should pay for its safe removal.”
coherence and cohesion
Use the same words for key ideas. Choose “government” instead of changing it to “official”, and choose “people” instead of changing it to “society”, unless the meaning is different.
task response
You give a clear main view that those who make waste should help pay for it.
task response
You include relevant examples from restaurants, garment factories, homes, and old electronic goods.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The final part returns to your main view and also notes the need for government rules.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • the polluter-pays principle
  • take responsibility for
  • waste disposal fees
  • environmental damage
  • industrial waste
  • household rubbish
  • single-use packaging
  • plastic pollution
  • cleaner technology
  • recycling facilities
  • waste management system
  • impose a fine
  • strict environmental laws
  • monitor compliance
  • reduce waste at source
  • public health costs
  • illegal dumping
  • financial burden
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