Some people claim that children should play more traditional games than it modern ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

It is often argued that

children

Use synonyms

should play modern games rather than

playing

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

traditional ones.

This

Linking Words

issue has sparked considerable debate

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

I firmly agree with the opinion.

This

Linking Words

is because playing traditional games will raise cultural awareness among them

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

it will

also

Linking Words

promote local

sports

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will present well-supported arguments to justify my stance.

Body paragraph 1

One of the most compelling reasons is that if

children

Use synonyms

play local

Use synonyms

sports

Punctuation problem

sports,

show examples

they will gain knowledge about their local culture and traditions.

This

Linking Words

will develop cultural harmony among them.

For instance

Linking Words

, kabbadi is a local sport of the province

Punjab

Change preposition

of Punjab

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

, which

show examples

is played in the rural areas of Pakistan and India. If

children

Use synonyms

are encouraged to play

this

Linking Words

local

sport

Punctuation problem

sport,

show examples

it will promote the local culture and traditions of Punjab.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it will

also

Linking Words

grab

attention

Correct article usage

the attention

show examples

of tourists across the world

that

Correct pronoun usage

, which

show examples

will lead to

economic

Correct article usage

an economic

show examples

boost .

Body paragraph 2

Additionally

Linking Words

, now

children

Use synonyms

are more inclined towards

sports

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as cricket and football. If

children

Use synonyms

are encouraged to play local

Use synonyms

sports

Punctuation problem

sports,

show examples

it will promote our local

sports

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

The

Fix capitalization

the

show examples

national

Use synonyms

sports

Check wording

sport

show examples

of Pakistan is hockey

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

in pakistan people are losing interest in

this

Linking Words

Use synonyms

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

. They are more inclined towards other

sports

Use synonyms

. If

children

Use synonyms

are encouraged to play

this

Linking Words

game

Punctuation problem

game,

show examples

it will promote

this

Linking Words

old forgotten

Use synonyms

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

game may grab the attention across the country.

Conclusion

In conclusion,

children

Use synonyms

should be encouraged to play local

sports

Use synonyms

because it will develop cultural awareness among them

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

it will

also

Linking Words

help to boost the economy of the country.

laibaabbas85

Sep 6, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Your main view is not clear because the first line says children should play modern games, but the rest of the essay says they should play traditional games. Choose one view and keep it the same from start to end.

task response

Answer the question about both traditional and modern games more fully. Explain why traditional games are better, or why modern games are better, and say how far you agree.

task response

Your ideas about culture and local sports are relevant. Add a clear point about why modern games may be less useful, such as less contact with local life, or say that both types can be useful.

task response

The examples of kabbadi and hockey help your ideas. Explain each example more: say what children can learn, how this helps the local area, and why this matters.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, two main parts, and ending. Keep this shape, but make the first line match your main view.

coherence and cohesion

Start each body part with one clear main idea. Then give an example and explain the result. This will make the link between your ideas easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words in a more natural way. For example: 'First,' 'For example,' 'As a result,' and 'However.' Do not use too many links when the idea is already clear.

coherence and cohesion

Some ideas repeat, such as 'promote local sports' and 'grab attention.' Try to add new support instead of saying the same point again.

task response

You give a clear view in most of the essay: children should play local and traditional sports.

task response

You use real examples, including kabbadi, hockey, Pakistan, and Punjab. These make the essay more direct and easy to understand.

coherence and cohesion

Your main parts are easy to see, and each one has one central idea.

coherence and cohesion

The ending returns to the two main points about culture and the economy.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
As the political and social conditions around the world are transforming, the trend of immigration is increasing day by day. What do you think what can be positive and negative impact of immigration?
As the socioeconomic climate of the world shifts rapidly, more and more people are moving to different places. Immigration is at an all-time high, and it has both positive and negative implications. This essay aims to explore both its beneficial and detrimental impacts.
6.5
band
Some people argue that practical experience is the most important part of a successful career. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
When someone is applying for a job , employers are usually seeking for a rewarding background and appropriate skills of an employee. It is believed that it is the most vital component of a job. A number of people disagree with this statement . My opinion is different because even though all theory is known it is rather hard to achieve something without practical skills and experience.
6.5
band
Music and other arts seem to be features of evety society. In what ways are music and other arts important for societies and for individuals? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Societies and art are integrated. Art is a part of every society's culture and it shows the beliefs and attitudes of its people. Seeking through the world each community has its own music that is identical and by which can be recognized. so it is believed that art plays an important role in human social and individual life with relevant reasons and examples.
7.5
band
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In today’s world, the importance of educating children is clearly evident. Individuals have different views about whether youngsters should be taught by their parents or school to become responsible citizens for the community. While the role of raisers in shaping their children’s character cannot be neglected; I believe that academic facilities can be more effective in children’s education.
7
band
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Advertisements are no longer unfamiliar things to people around the world in this day and age. While some persistently cling to the notion that it is an effective way of promoting products, however, I hold the opposing idea that it is quite annoying.

Some people claim that children should play more traditional games than it modern ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree

As the political and social conditions around the world are transforming, the trend of immigration is increasing day by day. What do you think what can be positive and negative impact of immigration?

Some people argue that practical experience is the most important part of a successful career. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Music and other arts seem to be features of evety society. In what ways are music and other arts important for societies and for individuals? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.