IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Most countries have traditional celebrations that ocur annually. İn Your opininon, what benefits do these celebrations have for society? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowladge or experience.

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Introduction
2026 is the
ear
Use the right word
year
show examples
 of
AI, until
Punctuation problem
AI. Until
show examples
 now ,
still
Correct determiner usage
many
show examples
lots
Use synonyms
 of countries
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
from western
Change preposition
including Western
show examples
 and asian countries
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
celebrate
lots
Use synonyms
 of festivals
anually
Correct your spelling
annually
.
Need less
Correct your spelling
Needless
 to say ,Cerebrating Chrismas in December
become
Verb problem
has become
show examples
 an
unpensable
Correct your spelling
indispensable
 part of
lots
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
continues
Correct subject-verb agreement
continue
show examples
 to
celebate
Correct your spelling
celebrate
 the
Use synonyms
traditionals
Correct your spelling
traditions
 not only
the
Change preposition
because of the
show examples
 heritage of the family and
society
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
 because there are
lots
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 of benefits
Body paragraph 1
Celebrate
traditionals
Use synonyms
 can
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
boost the
economics
Check wording
economy
show examples
. Take the
Thanks giving
Correct your spelling
Thanksgiving
 festival
is American
Verb problem
apply
show examples
as
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 example , every
year
Use synonyms
the
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 online shopping
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as Amazon start
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 promotion scheme
which associate
Wrong verb form
associated
show examples
 with big Friday . The sales amount of the
Thanks giving
Correct your spelling
Thanksgiving
 festivals always get the highest amount of
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
the
year
Use synonyms
. In mainland China,
Lunar
Correct article usage
the Lunar
show examples
 Chinese New
Use synonyms
year
Capitalize the proper name
Year
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 is the most important festival of the
year
Use synonyms
, in
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
 order to celebrate
this
Linking Words
 festival,
people
Use synonyms
 always buy new
cloths
Check wording
clothes
show examples
 and
gift
Check wording
gifts
show examples
 for family and friends. The celebration of the
traditionals
Use synonyms
 contribute a big part of the
society
Use synonyms
 yearly.
Body paragraph 2
Another
advatage
Correct your spelling
advantage
 of celebrating
Use synonyms
traditionals
Correct your spelling
traditions
 would be
make
Verb problem
to make
show examples
 the
society
Use synonyms
 more
peachful
Correct your spelling
peaceful
. As we all know family is a basic unit of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 . Most
the
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the traditional associate to the religions and
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
,
such
Linking Words
 as the
Chrismas
Punctuation problem
Chrismas,
show examples
 present
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unconditional
loves
Check wording
love
show examples
 from God
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 claims the
people
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
psychological ways. Some rootgrass
people
Use synonyms
 may face financial
difficuties
Correct your spelling
difficulties
. But at the time they have
Chrimas
Correct your spelling
Christmas
, they still
have the
Verb problem
apply
show examples
believe that they still have hope.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
 , the traditional celebrations have
benefits the
Wrong verb form
benefited
show examples
society
Use synonyms
econmoically
Correct your spelling
economically
 and psychologically.
That is
Linking Words
 the reason that
people
Use synonyms
 celebrate it generation by generation to maintain some
triditioanls
Correct your spelling
traditions
.

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task response
You answer the question with two clear good points: money and peace of mind. However, explain each point more fully. Say how more sales help shops, workers, and the whole country. Also explain more clearly how festivals help people feel hope and close to others.
task response
Your examples of Thanksgiving, Amazon, and Chinese New Year fit the topic well. Make the facts more exact and easy to understand. For example, say that people spend more money on food, gifts, and travel during these times.
task response
Do not begin with AI, because it does not help answer the question. Start directly with your opinion about why old celebrations are useful for society.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: an opening, two main parts, and an ending. Keep one main idea in each body part, then add an example and a short result.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas, such as “First”, “For example”, “As a result”, “Also”, and “In conclusion”. This will make the reading smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because they are very long or have many ideas. Write shorter sentences. For example: “Traditional festivals can help the economy. During Thanksgiving, many people buy gifts online. As a result, shops can make more money.”
coherence and cohesion
Use the same words in a clear way. Write “traditional celebrations” or “festivals” instead of changing to unclear forms such as “traditionals”.
task response
You give a clear opinion and stay on the main topic of traditional celebrations.
task response
The examples from the United States and China are useful and show that you can support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an opening, two body parts, and a conclusion, so the reader can see your main plan.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main point, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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