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Band 5.5

The chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006.

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The chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006.
The Bar chart depicts data about the
age
Use synonyms
 of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first babies between 1966
1986
Correct word choice
and 1986
show examples
 to 2006 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
,the most remarkable increase
of
Change preposition
in the number of
show examples
 women giving birth to their first child was in the 19-24
in
Check wording
age group in
show examples
 1966,which clearly surpassed all the others point by a substantial margin
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
the reverse was true for
toes
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 30-34
age
Use synonyms
in
Check wording
group in
show examples
 2006,which took the lowest position during the given period. In terms of the leading
age
Use synonyms
 category
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 19 to 24
was
Check wording
age category was
show examples
 the highest in
1966
Punctuation problem
1966,
show examples
 about 60%, the
age
Use synonyms
 25 to 30
in 1966 was lower
Correct word order
category was lower in 1966
show examples
 than
1986
Change preposition
in 1986
show examples
 and 2006.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
age
Use synonyms
 under 19 in 2006 was less than
1966
Change preposition
in 1966
show examples
 and 1986 . Regarding the
age
Use synonyms
30
Punctuation problem
, 30
show examples
-34 represented the greatest category in 2006,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 34-39 in 2006 was significantly higher than
1966
Change preposition
in 1966
show examples
 and 1986.
Interestigly
Correct your spelling
Interestingly
,over 40 remained steady in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic changes
  • first-time mothers
  • age bracket
  • fertility rate
  • childbearing age
  • socioeconomic factors
  • educational attainment
  • healthcare advancements
  • family planning
  • societal norms
  • trend analysis
  • delaying motherhood
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