The government has the duty to ensure that its citizens have a healthy diet, while others believe this is individuals’ responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Nowadays, a healthy lifestyle has become a trend for everyone. A healthy
diet
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and doing
exercises
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exercise
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are especially crucial for it. Many people argue that it is the
government
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`s
responsibility
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or
individuals
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individuals'
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. In
this
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essay, we will
analyze
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analyse
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both sides and share my own opinion on
this
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topic.
Body paragraph 1
The main reason why the
government
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should have the duty of a healthy
diet
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is
they
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that they
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can put higher
tax
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taxes
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and tariffs
for
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on
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unhealthy products
such
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as candies and other sugary drinks.
Also
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, they can control what supermarkets or other shops sell legally.
For example
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, the products
include
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that include
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higher sugar and chemicals should not be sold near the school and kindergartens. If the
government
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does
this
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kind of
regulation
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regulation,
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it will help directly correlate to a healthy
diet
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, eating healthy is definitely responsible for each individual. Because
,
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apply
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we are the ones who are choosing
their foods
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our food
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and what we buy. That means the
government
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can not control each person`s eating habits
which
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, which
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are uncontrollable.
Also
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, the main point will be human rights, which is what we eat is our
rights
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right
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in
this
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century.
Conclusion
In conclusion, they both have their own
responsibility
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for a healthy
diet
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. The
government
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can impact an individual`s eating lifestyle by using
their
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its
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power.
Although
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,
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apply
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each person has their own rights to choose what they can eat. That said, shared
responsibility
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from both perspectives will have a big impact. In my opinion, the
government
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has more
responsibility
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than individuals.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your view, so you answer all parts of the task. However, explain more clearly why the government has more duty than people. Add one or two reasons, such as the high cost of health care or the way food ads affect children.
task response
Your ideas are clear but not fully developed. For each main point, explain how it leads to better or worse food choices. For example, say that higher tax can make people buy fewer sugary drinks.
task response
Use a more specific example. Instead of only saying food should not be sold near schools, explain what may happen: children may buy less candy and build better food habits.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, government view, individual view, and conclusion. Keep this plan, but make the first sentence of each body paragraph state the main idea more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with clear words such as “For example”, “As a result”, “However”, and “Therefore”. Do not start a sentence with “Because” when it can be joined to the sentence before it.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the subject changes. For example, write “Individuals choose the food they buy” rather than “we are the ones who are choosing their foods.” This makes the point more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Make your opinion clear in the introduction as well as in the conclusion. For example: “I believe the government should play the larger role, although individuals must also make good choices.”
task response
You cover both the government’s role and the individual’s role, and you clearly state your own view at the end.
task response
The points about tax on sugary food and limits on sales near schools are relevant and useful.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has one main purpose.
coherence and cohesion
You use contrast words such as “On the other hand” and “Although” to show different views.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • healthy eating habits
  • a balanced diet
  • nutrition education
  • public awareness campaign
  • food labelling
  • processed food
  • sugary drinks
  • advertising restrictions
  • food subsidies
  • make healthy food affordable
  • impose a tax on
  • personal responsibility
  • informed choices
  • self-discipline
  • diet-related diseases
  • preventive measures
  • shared responsibility
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