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Band 6.5

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English house.

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The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English house.
The line and pie charts provide information about the demand for
electricity
Use synonyms
 in England during normal days in both winter and summer
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 how
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
distributed
Verb problem
is distributed
show examples
 in an average house.
Overall
Linking Words
,
electricity
Use synonyms
 consumption exhibited different patterns across the given categories; some,
such
Linking Words
 as
heating
Punctuation problem
heating,
show examples
 recorded the highest share,
whereas
Linking Words
 others, like lighting, registered the lowest percentage.
In addition
Linking Words
, winter demand was higher than in summer throughout
timeframe
Correct article usage
the timeframe
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the degree of increase and decrease varied among them. As the
ilne
Correct your spelling
line
 chart illustrates, the winter demand began at around 35000 and showed fluctuations between 30000 and 40000 until
day
Use synonyms
 15. In the
upcomming
Correct your spelling
upcoming
 period, it climbed gradually to roughly 48000, before falling to 32000 at
day
Use synonyms
 24.
in
Capitalize the word
In
show examples
 the summer period, individuals consume less
electricity
Use synonyms
, commencing at 18000,
then
Linking Words
 it declined slightly to 15000
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 9, after which it showed a cumulative increase to 20000
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 13.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it returned to 15000 after two days,
then
Linking Words
 stayed stable till 21, before growing to 20000 in 24.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, heating room and water occupied the major figure of usage
standing
Punctuation problem
, standing
show examples
 at 52.5%, followed by ovens and kettles devices
scored
Correct pronoun usage
, which scored
show examples
 17.5%.
the
Capitalize the word
The
show examples
 remaining two segments include devices like TV and
vaccum
Replace the word
vacuum
 cleaners
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 achieved the same percentage at 15%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, day with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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