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Writing Samples
Band 5

You have recently started work in a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend.In your letter explain -why you changed jobs -describe your new job -Tell him/her your other news.

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Dear
dada
Capitalize the proper name
Dada
show examples
, I hope you are doing well. I am writing to inform you that I recently changed my
job
Use synonyms
. As you know, previously I worked in a small company because I was
fresher
Correct article usage
a fresher
show examples
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 that time and I
want
Wrong verb form
wanted
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 to learn
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how people handle the workload in
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 efficient way and how I am able to handle the cumbersome situation of the
job
Use synonyms
. Now, I
decided
Verb problem
have decided
show examples
 to join a multinational
enterprises
Fix the agreement mistake
enterprise
show examples
.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 provided me
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
well-off pay which is suitable for me to
fulfil my
Verb problem
cover
show examples
 all
expenses
Correct determiner usage
my expenses
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
,
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 my
job
Use synonyms
, I have flexible hours and many recreational amenities for the employees
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
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, smoker pool. Another thing I would like to mention is I will get
promotion
Correct article usage
a promotion
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of
Change preposition
to
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 a manager in
this
Linking Words
 new company since my boss
like
Correct subject-verb agreement
likes
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 my work really well and they
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
praise how ardent I am for my work. So, after seeing my dedication, he decided to promote me. Anyways that's all for now. Lots of love, Sukhraj Kaur

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task response
Explain why you changed jobs more clearly. Say why the new job is better than the old one.
task response
Describe your new job with more detail, such as your role, main work, team, or place of work.
task response
Make the other news clearer. The planned move to manager is good news, but say when it may happen.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas, such as “First”, “Also”, and “Finally”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Put the reason for the change in one paragraph and the new job details in the next.
coherence and cohesion
Use a warmer opening for a friend, for example: “Dear Dada, I hope you are well.” End with a full closing sentence before “Lots of love.”
task response
You answer all three main parts of the letter: the job change, the new job, and your other news.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, middle, and ending, and the paragraphs help the reader follow your ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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