IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You recently attended a conference organized by your company. During the conference, you met an employee from another branch who gave you some useful information. Write a letter to this employee. In your letter: thank them for the information they gave you explain how you have used this information invite them to visit your branch and explain what you could do together

3.5 / 9
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Dear Sir or Madam, I really enjoyed
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 conference
last
Linking Words
monday
Capitalize the proper name
Monday
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. It was very
knowledgeble nad
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable and
 very useful
information
Use synonyms
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 given by you. I am thankful to you for providing the
information
Use synonyms
. The
information
Use synonyms
 was totally
unrecognizable for
Change preposition
unrecognisable to
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 me, which I did not expect, and gave me an important
learning
Check wording
lesson
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. I used that
information
Use synonyms
 to complete my project. The project was hard because I could not research the
detail
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details
show examples
 I
need it
Wrong verb form
needed
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. I researched my
articales
Correct your spelling
articles
 but
unable
Verb problem
was unable
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 to pull out the points that I need
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, you explained it very well and
deliver
Wrong verb form
delivered
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 the amount of details, which helped me to finish my task. I would like to invite you to our branch so we
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 discuss
about
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apply
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the upcoming project.
Also
Linking Words
, I would like to know more
the
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about the
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 topic that you presented
in
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at
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 our conference. Yours
Faithfully
Fix capitalization
faithfully
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, Swet.

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task response
Thank the person in a more clear way. Say what the information was and why it was helpful.
task response
Explain how you used the information with one clear example from your project.
task response
Give more detail about the visit. Say when they can come and what work you can do together.
task response
Use a more friendly greeting because you met this person. For example, use “Dear Mr Brown” or “Dear Anna”.
coherence and cohesion
Put each main point in its own paragraph: thanks, use of the information, and the invitation.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas easier to follow. Use simple links such as “First”, “Also”, “Because of this”, and “Finally”.
coherence and cohesion
Use short, clear sentences. Some sentences are hard to understand because they have too many ideas.
coherence and cohesion
End with a closing that fits a letter to someone you know, such as “Best wishes”.
task response
You thank the employee, say how the information helped your work, and invite them to your branch.
task response
You give a clear reason for the visit: to talk about the next project and learn more about the talk.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphs to show different parts of your message.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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