IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Now it is easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people experience problems when they are not be able to pay their debts back. In your opinion, do advantages of credit card outweight the disadventages?

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Introduction
It is true that the procedure of obtaining a
credit
Use synonyms
 card has become easier, and many
people
Use synonyms
 are now using it for their daily transactions.
Although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 face difficulties
while
Linking Words
 using it, especially when they are unable to pay their
debts
Use synonyms
 on time. I strongly believe that the advantages of
credit
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
 outweigh the disadvantages.
Body paragraph 1
The primary benefit of using
credit
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
 is that it offers convenience
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and help individuals to manage their urgent financial needs.
People
Use synonyms
 do not have to wait long hours in
queue
Correct article usage
a queue
show examples
 as
credit
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cards
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offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
 immediate funds to handle difficult
situation
Check wording
situations
show examples
. Sometimes, they have insufficient funds in their account
Correct word choice
, but
show examples
then
Linking Words
credit
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
show examples
 them to make transactions without any delay.
For example
Linking Words
, a student can pay their tuition fee by using their
credit
Use synonyms
 card
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 when they have limited funds in their bank account.
Body paragraph 2
Another significant benefit of
credit
Use synonyms
cards
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 is that
people
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 can earn reward points
while
Linking Words
 using them in shopping malls and grocery stores. Every cent they spend contributes to
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 the
credit
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 score. Now, insurance companies or owners often check the
credit
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 history of a person before approving an insurance plan, or
rental
Replace the word
renting
 out a property. A good
credit
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 score
represents
Verb problem
indicates
show examples
 that individuals are responsible for clearing their
debts
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 on time.
Body paragraph 3
However
Linking Words
,
credit
Use synonyms
cards
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 are like a
short term
Correct your spelling
short-term
 loan from banks, which helps
people
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 to satisfy their needs. When
people
Use synonyms
unable
Verb problem
are unable
show examples
 to pay their
debts
Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
 banks charge higher interest rates.
People
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 find themselves in a critical situation when they
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 their savings
while
Linking Words
 clearing the accumulated debt.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
credit
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
 may create financial problems for
people
Use synonyms
 who fail to repay their
debts
Use synonyms
, their advantages clearly outweigh the disadvantages. They offer convenience, emergency support, and reward benefits, which are essential in
this
Linking Words
 modern lifestyle.

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task response
You give a clear view from the start and answer the main question. To make the answer stronger, explain more fully why the good points are more important than the risk of debt. For example, say that a card is useful only when people set a limit and pay the full bill each month.
task response
Your main ideas are on topic: easy payment, help in an urgent time, and reward points. The point about credit scores needs more care. A credit score can help with some loans or rent, but it is not true in all cases that insurance firms or owners check it.
task response
The student fee example is clear, but it may also show a risk if the student has no plan to pay the bill back. Add a short note about this, or use an example such as an urgent health bill, where quick payment is needed.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, two good points, one bad point, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow. To improve the flow, show the link between each good point and your main view more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. The word “Although” at the start of the second sentence leaves the sentence unfinished. You could write: “Although some people face problems when they cannot pay on time, I believe the good points are greater.”
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one idea. In the second body paragraph, reward points and credit history are both useful, but the move between them is sudden. Add a link such as: “In addition to rewards, careful use can also help build a good credit history.”
task response
Your opinion is clear and stays the same from the introduction to the end.
task response
You include both sides of the issue, but give more space to the side you support.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion directly returns to your main view and gives a short summary of the key good points.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has a clear main idea, so the reader can follow your argument easily.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • credit card
  • easy to get
  • apply
  • pay back
  • debt
  • money
  • spend
  • budget
  • track spending
  • pay on time
  • interest
  • fees
  • late payment
  • credit score
  • build
  • good credit
  • bad credit
  • rewards
  • cash back
  • points
  • perks
  • security
  • fraud
  • theft
  • safety
  • emergencies
  • record keeping
  • balance
  • limit
  • grace period
  • plan
  • control
  • discipline
  • risk
  • use wisely
  • avoid cash advances
  • terms
  • conditions
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