IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Today, many people do not know their neghbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

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Introduction
Nowadays, a
lots
Fix the agreement mistake
lot
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 living in big cities hardly know
thir neghbours
Correct your spelling
their neighbours
.
This
Linking Words
 situation can bring
sererval
Correct your spelling
several
 social problems, but there are practical ways to improve it.
Body paragraph 1
The main issue is the lack of mutual support. If
people
Use synonyms
 do not know their neighbours, they cannot ask for help in
emerencies
Correct your spelling
emergencies
.
For example
Linking Words
, elderly
people
Use synonyms
 living alone may have nobody to turn
towhen
Correct your spelling
to when
 they
Body paragraph 2
suddenly
Capitalize the word
Suddenly
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 feel unwell.
Besides
Linking Words
, communities become less safe. Strangers can easily nter buildingsand no one will notice unusual behaviour. Living without connections with
neighbour
Check wording
neighbours
show examples
also
Linking Words
 makes
people
Use synonyms
 feel lonely and isolated.
Body paragraph 3
There are two effective solutions to tackle
this
Linking Words
 prolems.
First,
Linking Words
local governments and housing estates can organise community activities,
such
Linking Words
 as sports days or food sharing events. These activities give residents chances to meet and chat.
Second,
Linking Words
peple
Correct your spelling
people
 can start small greetings when they meet neighbours in lifts or corridors.
Conclusion
In conclusion, not knowing neighbours
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to less support and loneliness. By holding community events and
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
 simple daily
greeting
Check wording
greetings
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 can build better
relationship
Check wording
relationships
show examples
 with those living nearby.

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task response
Answer both parts fully. You explain the problems and give two ways to help, but add more detail about how each way can work in real life.
task response
Build each main idea more. For example, say how a local event can help people trust each other after they first meet.
task response
Use one more clear example for the safety problem or for the small greetings idea. This will make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep one main idea in each body paragraph and add a short ending sentence to each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as “For example”, “Besides”, “First”, and “Second” help the reader, but do not use them too often.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between sentences clearer. For example, after saying that people feel alone, explain that this is because they have no one nearby to talk to or ask for help.
coherence and cohesion
Check word forms and small writing errors, as these can slow the reader down: “a lot of”, “their”, “neighbours”, “emergencies”, “problems”, “people”, “leads”, “encouraging”, and “greetings”.
task response
You answer the full question by giving clear problems and clear ways to improve the situation.
task response
The example of older people who may feel unwell is useful and fits your point about help from neighbours.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas are in a good order: problems first, then solutions, then a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphing is clear, and the words “First” and “Second” make the two solutions easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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