IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situations such as an, unsatisfactory job or shortge of money. Others argue that is better to try and improve such situations . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

3.5 / 9
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Introduction
In the modern era,the question of whether to accept a wrong
sitting
Check wording
situation
show examples
 or try to improve
such
Linking Words
situations
Use synonyms
 has become increasingly
contentios
Correct your spelling
contentious
,
while
Linking Words
 some maintain that best to
in
Verb problem
leave
show examples
 a bad environment. Another
contend
Correct subject-verb agreement
contends
show examples
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 better to change or improve the environment.
Body paragraph 1
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the one hand, a primary reason for endorsing
to accept
Wrong verb form
accepting
show examples
 a bad
situations
Use synonyms
 lie in mindful health
serves
Correct pronoun usage
, which serves
show examples
 as a catalyst for
happiesness
Correct your spelling
happiness
. Some evidence
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
this
Linking Words
 claim: a low-paid worker
wit
Use the right word
with
show examples
 limited qualifications may face huge obstacles to career advancement; Adjusting expectations rather than chasing unrealistic promotions can protect their mental health.
futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, learning to tolerate discomfort
build
Correct subject-verb agreement
builds
show examples
 emotional stability.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is better to try
change
Verb problem
to change
show examples
 or improve
such
Linking Words
situations
Use synonyms
 exerts a ripple effect across multiple
demensions
Correct your spelling
dimensions
. In the micro level, workers can gain new
skillsand
Correct your spelling
skills and
 seek better-paid roles. People struggling with money can build budgets or look for side-income
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
. In the macro level,
governoment
Correct your spelling
governments
 have a
vitality
Replace the word
vital
 society.
civils
Capitalize the word
Civils
show examples
 do not affaird of challenges. It face to
challenges
Punctuation problem
challenges,
show examples
 do not say give up.
it
Capitalize the word
It
show examples
 is time by time society improvement.
Conclusion
In my opinion, proactive efforts to change bad
situations
Use synonyms
 are
perferable
Correct your spelling
preferable
 in most scenarios. realistic acceptance may serve as a short-term coping strategy, but long-term
well being
Correct your spelling
well-being
 relies on people making efforts to
tranform
Correct your spelling
transform
 their circumstances.
accpetance
Correct your spelling
Acceptance
 without ambition tends to trap people in
cycle
Correct article usage
a cycle
show examples
 of difficulty. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 passive acceptance has limited
merites
Check wording
merit
show examples
, attempting to improve hard
situations
Use synonyms
 brings greater long-term rewards.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view clearly. To make your ideas stronger, explain why some people cannot change a bad job or money problem, and give a clear real-life example for each side.
task response
Your main view is clear: people should try to make bad situations better. Add more detail about when acceptance is useful, such as when change is not possible at once.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Use clear link words correctly, such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For example”, and “As a result”.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are hard to follow because the sentences are too short or not complete. For example, “It face to challenges do not say give up” should be changed into a full, clear sentence. Keep one main idea in each sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make the links between ideas more natural. In the second body part, explain how people gaining skills can help both their own lives and the wider country.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain both sides and state your own opinion.
task response
The examples of a low-paid worker, learning new skills, making a budget, and finding extra work are relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The four-part essay shape is easy to see, and your final paragraph clearly repeats your main view.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking words, including “furthermore”, “on the other hand”, and “in conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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