IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in science research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
I think it is good to share information in the social
pattform
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platform
, as we are attending a
generations
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generation
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that is
Linking Words
 full of
informantion
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information
, and now AI is really
comment
Use the right word
convenient
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 to use, but there are
also
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 bugs, some of them
are providing
Wrong verb form
provide
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 wrong
informations
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information
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.
Therefore
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, it is good to share scientific
researches
Replace the word
research
 and theories for
people
Use synonyms
 to take as a reference. It helps to provide useful and correct
informations
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information
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
On the other hand
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,
people
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 think that some of the information is too important and valuable as they are for accdamic researches and the author might want to avoid their words easily being
copy
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copied
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 by others.
This
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 makes them want to protect their work.
Conclusion
In my opinion, I think it is important for
government
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the government
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 to keep an
eyes
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eye
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 on the internet.
For example
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, if the author thinks that the passage is valuable, they should
give limited to
Verb problem
limit
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 the
AI, so that
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AI's use, so that people can
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people
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 can just only use
for
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it for
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refferencing
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referencing
 but couldn't copy it.
Otherwise
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, those
passage
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passages
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 could let
people
Use synonyms
to
Wrong verb form
apply
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share or use
as
Correct pronoun usage
them as
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whatever
Correct determiner usage
apply
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they want.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my opinion, it depends on the author, because they are the
one
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ones
show examples
 who write the passage, they have their rights.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view, which is good. However, explain each view more fully. For sharing, say how open research can help doctors, students, and new ideas. For keeping data private, explain risks such as copying, money loss, or unsafe use.
task response
Your main idea about the writer having rights is clear. Make your own view stronger by saying exactly what should be shared and what should be kept private. For example, public health facts may be open, but private user data and new business plans may need limits.
task response
Use examples that fit the full topic. Your example mostly talks about AI and online passages. Add one science, school, or business example to show that you understand all parts of the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: sharing first, keeping work safe next, and your view at the end. Add a short opening that says you will look at both sides before giving your view.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main point. In the first body paragraph, talk only about why sharing helps. In the second, talk only about why some data should not be free. Then use the last paragraph for your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words to show the steps in your ideas: “First”, “For example”, “However”, “As a result”, and “In conclusion”. Do not repeat “therefore” too often.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the meaning is not clear. For example, change “they should give limited to the AI” to “they should limit how AI can use it.” Keep sentences short and direct.
task response
You answer all main parts of the question: you show why sharing can help, why people may protect valuable work, and what you think.
task response
The point that false facts can spread online is useful and linked to the need for good research.
coherence and cohesion
The use of “On the other hand” clearly shows a change to the second view.
coherence and cohesion
Your final paragraph gives a clear main view: writers should have control over their work.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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