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Writing Samples
Band 5

Thể have been many inventions in human history (e.g the wheel) some people think the most important thing is the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Throughout history, there have been some remarkable inventions that have changed
dramatically the course of human life
Correct word order
the course of human life dramatically
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. Some individuals argue that the
internet
Use synonyms
 is the most significant one. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view, as it was the prelude of other creations that came afterwards.
Body paragraph 1
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
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 we live in a society
that is
Linking Words
 in constant evolution. There have never been so many changes in
such
Linking Words
 a short period of time. And, as some experts explain, those changes are increasing in an
exponencial
Correct your spelling
exponential
 way. The reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 that
acelerated
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accelerated
 tendency can be understood by the
globalized
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globalised
show examples
 world we live in. In the past, the development of a project would take years
:
Punctuation problem
;
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 some people would set the idea, and from
there
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there,
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 the few folks
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 knew about it would try to make it happen and improve it. It is
posible
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possible
 that at some point
diferent
Correct your spelling
different
 individuals had the pieces to solve the puzzle, but without
communication
Add a comma
communication,
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 it never happened.
This
Linking Words
 is where the
internet
Use synonyms
 makes
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 difference, as it has been the key factor to create the
globalized
Change the spelling
globalised
show examples
 world we live in. At the moment, scientists with
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 interests from all over the planet can discuss, share, and complement their studies in real time.
This
Linking Words
 means more people working together on the same issues. Most of the inventions of the past decades were
posible
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possible
 because of international cooperation,
for example
Linking Words
 COVID vaccine
of
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the development of electric cars. Even the creation of artificial
inteligence
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intelligence
, which is likely to transform the next century, has its origins on the
internet
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the
internet
Use synonyms
 can be considered the most important invention in history because it has become the vehicle for other significant discoveries.

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree that the internet is the most important invention. To make the answer more complete, add one more main reason, such as its role in education, health care, or daily life.
task response
Explain why the internet is more important than other great inventions, not only why it helps new work happen. For example, compare its wide effect with the wheel, printing, or electricity.
task response
Use examples with more care. The COVID vaccine and electric cars were helped by world-wide sharing, but they were not only made possible by the internet. Say that the internet made the work faster and easier.
task response
The point about AI needs a clearer link. AI did not begin on the internet; however, the internet gives AI large amounts of data and lets people share work quickly.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, one main body part, and an ending. Add a second body paragraph so each main idea has enough space and support.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one clear idea in each paragraph. The long body paragraph moves from fast change, to world links, to science, to AI. Split these ideas into smaller parts.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to guide the reader: 'First', 'Also', 'For example', and 'As a result'. Do not begin too many sentences with 'And'.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first sentence of the body paragraph more direct. State your main point first, then explain how the internet lets people in many places work together.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and keep the same view until the end.
task response
The idea that the internet helps people share knowledge and work together is relevant and well chosen.
coherence and cohesion
Your ending clearly returns to your main idea: the internet leads to other important discoveries.
coherence and cohesion
The example of scientists sharing studies in real time helps the reader follow your main point.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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