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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more plastic is polluting the oceans. What problems are caused by plastic waste? What can be done to solve this problem?

4.5 / 9
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Introduction
Exceeding
Correct determiner usage
An excessive
show examples
 amount of the
Plastic
Use synonyms
 related waste is contaminating the oceans specifically and
atmosphere
Correct article usage
the atmosphere
show examples
 in general. Conventional shopping bags
considered
Verb problem
are considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a non-recyclable product, and
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
 cause significant damage to nature.
This
Linking Words
 essay will look for cause and effect and remedies for
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon in the subsequent paragraphs.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with, frequent
use
Use synonyms
 of moldable material in our day-to-day
life
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 in industries is problematic
,Non sustainability
Punctuation problem
. Non-sustainability
show examples
 of
such
Linking Words
substances
Use synonyms
 brings multifarious
impact
Check wording
impacts
show examples
 on
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
Due to
Linking Words
 uncontrolled
use
Use synonyms
 and dumping it in to garbage causes plenty of waste
management related
Correct your spelling
management-related
 issues. Through industrial and domestic
dumping
Punctuation problem
dumping,
show examples
 these
substances
Use synonyms
 end
in
Verb problem
up in
show examples
 the seas. Which
consequently
Linking Words
 pollute
sea water
Check wording
the seawater
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and endanger marine
life
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research has shown that
plastic
Use synonyms
 which was manufactured years ago still
exist
Correct subject-verb agreement
exists
show examples
 somewhere around the world, and
harm
Correct subject-verb agreement
harms
show examples
 the land or sea
life
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the government and general public have to collaborate under the umbrella of international laws,
everyone
Correct word choice
and everyone
show examples
 must follow the sustainable procedures.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
manufacturing
Correct article usage
the manufacturing
show examples
 of
plastic
Use synonyms
 must be
minimized
Change the spelling
minimised
show examples
,
recyclable
Correct word choice
and recyclable
show examples
substances
Use synonyms
 must be acquired during the production of bags and sheets. Proper awareness
to
Verb problem
needs to
show examples
 be provided to
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 not to
use
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 matters. Meanwhile, existing
substances
Use synonyms
 must be handled with
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 standards until entirely
replace
Wrong verb form
replaced
show examples
 with sustainable
matters
Check wording
materials
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
UAE
Correct article usage
the UAE
show examples
 has banned the
use
Use synonyms
 of conventional
plastic
Use synonyms
 bags at all supermarkets.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 production rate and improper handling of Non-recyclable
matters
Punctuation problem
matters,
show examples
 are endangering the marine
life
Use synonyms
immensely
Verb problem
is being endangered immensely
show examples
. Authorities must implement strict action plans both at
industrial
Correct article usage
the industrial
show examples
 and domestic
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Explain more problems, such as animals eating plastic, fish dying, and plastic getting into food. Then explain how each answer can help.
task response
Make your main ideas clear. Use simple words like plastic bags, bottles, sea animals, and waste. Some ideas are too hard to understand because the words are not exact.
task response
Give one clear example with a short reason. The UAE example is useful, but say what happened after the ban, such as people using paper or reusable bags.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make each paragraph focus on one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Do not start a new sentence with “Which” after a full stop. Join it to the sentence before it, or begin with “This”.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words correctly: “First”, “Also”, “As a result”, “For example”, and “In conclusion”. Avoid very long sentences with many ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first paragraph match the question. Say that you will discuss the problems caused by plastic waste and ways to solve them, not “cause and effect and remedies”.
task response
You discuss both the harm from plastic waste and ways to reduce it.
task response
You include relevant ideas about sea life, waste control, less plastic use, and rules from the government.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear overall order: introduction, problems, solutions, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The UAE example helps to connect your solution to a real action.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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