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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People living in the twenty first century generally have a better quality of life than people who lived in previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
It is often debated that
people
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 who live in the
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twenty
Correct your spelling
twenty-first
first
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century
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 have a better
quality
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 of
life
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,
while
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 others argue
otherwise
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. I somewhat agree with
this
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 opinion because
technology
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technological
 developments in the
twenty
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first
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century
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 made both solving difficult
task
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tasks
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 and long term communication more
efficiently
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efficient
;
however
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, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
previous
centuries
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, there
are
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were
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also
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 many factors that made their lives more qualitative than
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people
Correct pronoun usage
those of people
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 in the modern day.
Body paragraph 1
The main reason I
why
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apply
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believe
people
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today
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 live a better
quality
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 of
life
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 is because advanced technology,
such
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 as artificial intelligence, has allowed us to solve problems we encounter faster and easier. Artificial intelligence can be used at
anytime
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any time
 by inserting a few words
to
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into
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 the machine, and instantly, it can give solutions or insights to most problems and requests. To illustrate, I once asked AI to help with answering a text message, and within seconds, it gave me a detailed breakdown
to
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of
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 how I could reply.
Body paragraph 2
In addition
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, the contemporary lifestyle has enabled us to communicate and interact with our loved ones from thousands of miles away. With a telephone, we can both text or call them to check on them.
As a result
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, it has made leaving for work
that is
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 far away less emotional, as they are still able to interact with them.
Body paragraph 3
However
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,
people
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 living in the prior
centuries
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do have
Wrong verb form
had
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 factors in their lives that are better in
quality
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 than ours
today
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. In the past, food was not significantly processed with
different
Correct article usage
the different
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 chemicals and ingredients that we use
today
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. The food consumed hundreds of years ago may have been cleaner and healthier in nutrients and other minerals.
Therefore
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,
people
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 at the time were less likely to be diagnosed with diseases
such
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 as cancer or diabetes.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I somewhat believe that
people
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 in the
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twenty
Correct your spelling
twenty-first
first
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century
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 generally have a better
quality
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 of
life
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.
This
Linking Words
 is because technology has allowed us to solve many problems we have encountered in the past.
However
Linking Words
, I admit that health is
also
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 a huge part of having a qualitative
life
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, and many
people
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 in previous
centuries
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 were less prone to having internal issues in their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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 than
today
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. Given
this
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 situation, it seems that both periods of time have their own benefits of having a good
life
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, but the
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twenty
Correct your spelling
twenty-first
first
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century
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 has more advantages than the previous
centuries
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.

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task response
State your view more clearly at the start. You say you somewhat agree, but your last line says life now has more good points. Make this one clear view and keep it through the essay.
task response
Explain what “quality of life” means, such as health, work, safety, money, family, and free time. This will make your answer wider and more complete.
task response
Give stronger support for the health point. The claim that people in the past had less cancer or diabetes needs care, because many health problems were not found or written down in the same way then.
task response
Use more than one clear real-world example. The AI text-message example is relevant, but it is small. You could also write about health care, travel, online learning, or help in an emergency.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, two points for life now, one point for the past, and an ending. Keep this good order.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between ideas smoother. For example, change “The main reason I why believe” to “One main reason is that,” and use “However” to show the move to the past.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same subject in each sentence. In “it has made leaving for work ... less emotional,” it is not fully clear who “it” and “they” mean. Say “People who move away for work can still speak to their families, so they may feel less sad.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid saying the same idea many times in the ending. End with one short, clear sentence that restates your view and your main reason.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give a clear overall view that life now has more good points.
task response
Your points about fast help from new tools and contact with family far away are relevant to daily life.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one main idea, which makes the essay easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use useful linking words such as “In addition,” “However,” “Therefore,” and “In conclusion.”
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Quality of life
  • Technological advancements
  • Healthcare improvements
  • Life expectancy
  • Mortality rates
  • Standard of living
  • Economic growth
  • Job opportunities
  • Education access
  • Literacy rates
  • Human rights
  • Gender equality
  • Working conditions
  • Industrialization
  • Environmental issues
  • Modern conveniences
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