In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction

It is often argued that the population of the world is

aging

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ageing

show examples

quickly

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

this

Linking Words

is causing an unsustainable increase in the cost of public health services. I agree that

individuals

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need to pay

their

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for their

show examples

own

healthcare

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provision

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for their

future

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because

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

can not conduct

endlessly

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this process endlessly

show examples

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

, this

show examples

this processes

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apply

show examples

and it may trigger several severe issues.

In addition

Linking Words

governments

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have to encourage

citizens

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to save their

money

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and make

Correct article usage

show examples

investment in

retirement

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funds

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 1

To begin

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with,

individuals

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should pay

their

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for their

show examples

own

healthcare

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provision

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Governments

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have limited

money

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funds

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to manage

Fix the agreement mistake

them

show examples

This

Linking Words

is because

citizens

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take

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

responsibility from

governments

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, which can lead to a sustainable

healthcare

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process. In

the

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apply

show examples

other words, if

government

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the government

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pay all

healthcare

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expenditure for

people

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, it may pose

lack

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a lack

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of resources.

For instance

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, nations have several responsibilities, which need to improve

education

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the education

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system, public transportation

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, or

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provide border defence. Meanwhile,

supply

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the supply

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money

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is quite limited,

after

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apply

show examples

which

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apply

show examples

suggests that

money

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should be used efficiently for

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citizens’

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the citizens’

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future

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Therefore

Linking Words

governments

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have to allocate their

money

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for different areas, unless they suffer from

money

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funds

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Body paragraph 2

Another important point to consider is that

governments

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need to urge

citizens

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to make

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show examples

investment

in their

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at a

show examples

young age, which is a really advantageous point. Nations may build many

retirement

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funds

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for

citizens

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healthcare

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provision

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or support saving

money

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plans

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while

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during

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active working time.

Moreover

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, the processes affect saving

money

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habit and

people

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can use their

money

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effectively. A clear example, after the age of 65,

people

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can

utilize

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utilise

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retirement

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funds

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and their savings

and

Punctuation problem

, and

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people

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may get

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apply

show examples

quality insurance for their health, which entails positive effects for their lives.

As a result

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individuals

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should save their

money

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for their

future

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

;

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after

retirement

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term they can benefit from

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funds

Correct article usage

the funds

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Conclusion

In conclusion, I agree that

individuals

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should pay

their

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for their

show examples

healthcare

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provision

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is mainly because

governments

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have limited resources

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

people

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need to invest

Use synonyms

healthcare

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in healthcare

show examples

for their

future

Use synonyms

. In the long run,

this

Linking Words

would result in a quality health service.

melih.sen

Sep 12, 2026

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task response

State your view in a more exact way. Say if people should pay all costs, some costs, or save money while the state still pays for basic care.

task response

Give a fuller answer to the main issue. Explain why care in old age can cost more, and why state help may still be needed for poor people or for very high costs.

task response

Develop each main point with a clear reason and result. For example, if the state pays for all care, show how this may take money from schools, roads, or other key work.

task response

Use one real and clear example. You could describe a work saving plan where workers and firms pay money each month, and people use it after they stop work.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Make the links between ideas more natural with simple words such as “This means”, “As a result”, and “However”.

coherence and cohesion

Keep one main idea in each part. In the first main part, focus only on why state money is not enough. In the next part, focus only on saving plans and how they help.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid unclear links such as “after which” and “unless they suffer from money funds”. Write the cause and result in short, direct sentences.

coherence and cohesion

Use the same key terms each time. For example, use “healthcare costs”, “public money”, and “retirement savings” rather than many different forms that may confuse the reader.

task response

You give a clear view and keep it through the whole essay: people should plan and pay for some of their future healthcare.

task response

You give two useful main ideas: public money is limited, and people can save while they work.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear overall shape, with an opening, two main parts, and a closing.

coherence and cohesion

Topic sentences such as “To begin with” and “Another important point” help the reader follow your main ideas.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
10
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

332 words

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