In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
It is often argued that the population of the world is
aging
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ageing
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quickly
and
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, and
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this
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is causing an unsustainable increase in the cost of public health services. I agree that
individuals
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need to pay
their
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for their
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own
healthcare
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provision
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for their
future
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because
government
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the government
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can not conduct
endlessly
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this process endlessly
show examples
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, this
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this processes
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apply
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and it may trigger several severe issues.
In addition
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,
governments
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have to encourage
citizens
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to save their
money
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and make
a
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an
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investment in
retirement
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funds
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.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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with,
individuals
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should pay
their
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for their
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own
healthcare
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provision
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.
Governments
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have limited
money
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funds
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to manage
it
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them
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.
This
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is because
citizens
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take
a
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apply
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responsibility from
governments
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, which can lead to a sustainable
healthcare
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process. In
the
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apply
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other words, if
government
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the government
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pay all
healthcare
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expenditure for
people
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, it may pose
lack
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a lack
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of resources.
For instance
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, nations have several responsibilities, which need to improve
education
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the education
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system, public transportation
or
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, or
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provide border defence. Meanwhile,
supply
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the supply
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of
money
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is quite limited,
after
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apply
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which
it
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apply
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suggests that
money
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should be used efficiently for
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citizens’
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the citizens’
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future
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.
Therefore
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,
governments
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have to allocate their
money
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for different areas, unless they suffer from
money
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funds
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.
Body paragraph 2
Another important point to consider is that
governments
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need to urge
citizens
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to make
a
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an
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investment
in their
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at a
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young age, which is a really advantageous point. Nations may build many
retirement
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funds
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for
citizens
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'
healthcare
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provision
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or support saving
money
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plans
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while
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during
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active working time.
Moreover
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, the processes affect saving
money
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habit and
people
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can use their
money
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effectively. A clear example, after the age of 65,
people
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can
utilize
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utilise
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retirement
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funds
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and their savings
and
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, and
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people
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may get
a
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apply
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quality insurance for their health, which entails positive effects for their lives.
As a result
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,
individuals
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should save their
money
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for their
future
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,
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;
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after
retirement
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term they can benefit from
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funds
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the funds
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I agree that
individuals
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should pay
their
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for their
show examples
healthcare
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provision
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.
This
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is mainly because
governments
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have limited resources
and
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, and
show examples
people
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need to invest
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healthcare
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in healthcare
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for their
future
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. In the long run,
this
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would result in a quality health service.

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task response
State your view in a more exact way. Say if people should pay all costs, some costs, or save money while the state still pays for basic care.
task response
Give a fuller answer to the main issue. Explain why care in old age can cost more, and why state help may still be needed for poor people or for very high costs.
task response
Develop each main point with a clear reason and result. For example, if the state pays for all care, show how this may take money from schools, roads, or other key work.
task response
Use one real and clear example. You could describe a work saving plan where workers and firms pay money each month, and people use it after they stop work.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Make the links between ideas more natural with simple words such as “This means”, “As a result”, and “However”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each part. In the first main part, focus only on why state money is not enough. In the next part, focus only on saving plans and how they help.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear links such as “after which” and “unless they suffer from money funds”. Write the cause and result in short, direct sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same key terms each time. For example, use “healthcare costs”, “public money”, and “retirement savings” rather than many different forms that may confuse the reader.
task response
You give a clear view and keep it through the whole essay: people should plan and pay for some of their future healthcare.
task response
You give two useful main ideas: public money is limited, and people can save while they work.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear overall shape, with an opening, two main parts, and a closing.
coherence and cohesion
Topic sentences such as “To begin with” and “Another important point” help the reader follow your main ideas.
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