IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Angsa

4.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Angsa
The map
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 the Brandfield of a city .
However
Linking Words
 , the people had made
decision
Correct article usage
a decision
show examples
 to construct a shopping mall in the area , which is divided into 2 sites
S1
Punctuation problem
, S1
show examples
 and S2 .
Overall
Linking Words
 , S1 and S2 sites
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 divided by the railway track . S1 seems to be
residential
Correct article usage
a residential
show examples
 area ,
whereas
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
S2
more
Verb problem
has
show examples
 bigger things To
beign
Correct your spelling
begin
,
housing
Correct article usage
the housing
show examples
 estate is located
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the central north with a road crossing between the houses leading to rail line
as well as
Linking Words
river
Correct article usage
the river
show examples
 . Moving
further
Linking Words
 ,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the west side
nearby
Change preposition
near
show examples
 the train
track
Punctuation problem
track,
show examples
 there is an industrial area connecting with a path for
vehicle
Check wording
vehicles
show examples
 to pass by .
Whereas
Linking Words
 ,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
S2
Punctuation problem
S2,
show examples
 there is a big golf course and a park.
Moreover
Linking Words
 ,
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 centre
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 all the facilities connecting it to other places
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 asriver , roads ,and
river
Correct article usage
the river
show examples
 .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "divided" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • shopping mall
  • city planners
  • site
  • residential area
  • access
  • customers
  • parking
  • space
  • central
  • foot traffic
  • community
  • engagement
  • schools
  • parks
  • local
What to do next:
Look at other essays: