Public celebrations( such as national days, festivals, etc) are held in most countries. Theses are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things Do you agree or disagree?

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There is no doubt that
governments
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spend more
money
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on public celebrations
such
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as foundation days, national days, and festivals
, some
Punctuation problem
. Some
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people think that
governments
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should spend
money
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on more
usfel
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useful
things sucha as health care, public
area
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areas
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, and education. I completely agree with
this
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view , because it can bring several benefits for
indiviuals
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individuals
and societies. The main reason why some people believe that
governments
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spend
money
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on beneficial products is that these products may help poor people to improve their
live
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lives
.
In other words
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, many families want to support their lives from
governments
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.
For example
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, they need education and health care for their children. They think that many national celebrations consume more
money
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because they require more
laboure
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labour
for decoration and
organization
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organisation
show examples
.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first part, then give two full main reasons. You agree, but the essay gives only one main reason.
task response
Explain why health care, schools, and public places are more useful than large celebrations. Show how this helps people and the country.
task response
Add a short ending that repeats your main view and main reasons.
task response
Use one clear, real example. For example, say that money used for one day of shows could help a local health centre buy new beds or medicine.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, first reason, second reason, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Start each main paragraph with one clear topic sentence. Then explain it and give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to guide the reader: First, Also, For example, However, and In short.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each sentence focused on one idea. Some ideas are repeated, such as poor families needing help, without more detail.
task response
You give a clear view: public money should go to more useful needs.
task response
You choose useful ideas, including health care and education, which fit the question well.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction tells the reader what the essay will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
You use a reason and an example about families and children, so the paragraph has a clear direction.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • economic boost
  • local economies
  • social cohesion
  • national unity
  • educational value
  • government spending
  • public services
  • healthcare
  • infrastructure
  • balanced approach
  • national identity
  • community
  • tourists
  • social harmony
  • historical significance
  • younger generation
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