IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 of late are facing a very difficult problem. Which is choosing between preserving historical
buildings
Use synonyms
 or
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 space for newer modern
buildings
Use synonyms
. I strongly believe historical
buildings
Use synonyms
 should always come first and should be maintained no
matters
Correct subject-verb agreement
matter
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 what.
Linking Words
due
Capitalize the word
Due
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 to
it’s
Correct determiner usage
its
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 historical values.
Body paragraph 1
History
hold
Correct subject-verb agreement
holds
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 a great deal to us as humans, demolishing and replacing historical
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
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 would result
to
Change preposition
apply
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in losing hundreds of
years
Check wording
years'
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 worth of information.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize the word
For
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instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 how did our ancestors
lived
Wrong verb form
live
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 before us in different
weathers
Check wording
weather conditions
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.
Change the punctuation
?
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 How did they deal with storms or heatwaves before technology
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 Their lives hold great infromation to how
did
Verb problem
apply
show examples
we as humans survived different circumstances.
Body paragraph 2
But
this
Linking Words
 may not
be the case always
Correct word order
always be the case
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. Keeping historical evidence is important
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 it can’t be helped sometimes. Where the need of building safer homes is the priority. Many
buildings
Use synonyms
 are on the verge of collapsing
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 using them is impossible. And even walking by them can be dangerous. so government choose to destroy them safely before they collapse unexpectedly on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it's
show examples
 always best to keep historical
buildings
Use synonyms
 and maintain them. But
this
Linking Words
 can be impossible if it
effects
Use the right word
affects
show examples
 the safety of
neighboring
Change the spelling
neighbouring
show examples
buildings
Use synonyms
 and people.

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task response
State your main view more clearly: old buildings should be kept, except when they are not safe. Keep this view the same from start to end.
task response
Give more full reasons for keeping old buildings. For example, say that they help people learn about the past, bring visitors to the city, and give a city its own look.
task response
Use a real or clear made-up example. Name one old building, explain what people can learn from it, and show why this matters.
task response
Explain the safety point in more detail. Say that a city can repair a safe old building, but pull down one that may fall and hurt people.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Make the first part fully support keeping old buildings, then make the second part a clear exception for unsafe ones.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words to show the path of your ideas: “First,” “For example,” “However,” and “In conclusion.”
coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with one clear main idea. Then add two or three sentences that explain it before you move to the next idea.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea about history. Add new support after each main point, rather than asking many questions about the past.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear view that old buildings are important.
task response
You also show that safety can be more important in some cases. This makes your view fair and realistic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The change to the safety idea with “But” helps the reader see that you are moving to the other side of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • preserve old buildings
  • historic place
  • part of history
  • cultural value
  • special character
  • local identity
  • tourist attraction
  • bring in money
  • repair and reuse
  • save resources
  • reduce waste
  • tear down
  • replace with
  • modern design
  • with care
  • find a balance
  • important landmark
  • learn from the past
  • city center
  • public building
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