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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information about the way in which water was used in different countries in 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevan

6.5 / 9
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The pie chart illustrates the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 used in different sectors in the world,
while
Linking Words
 the bar chart gives information on the
way
Use synonyms
 in which
water
Use synonyms
 was used in various countries in 2000, expressed in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
agriculture
Use synonyms
 accounted for the largest
proportion
Use synonyms
 in the world,
whereas
Linking Words
domestic
Check wording
domesticated animals
show examples
 registered the smallest percentage.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
agriculture
Use synonyms
 was the common
way
Use synonyms
 of using
water
Use synonyms
 in China and India,
while
Linking Words
 it was by far the least common
way
Use synonyms
 of using
water
Use synonyms
 in Canada. Concerning
water
Use synonyms
 consumption in the world,
agriculture
Use synonyms
 made up the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 at 70%, followed by
industry
Use synonyms
 at 22%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, domestic consumption constituted the lowest share at 8%. Regarding the
way
Use synonyms
 countries used
water
Use synonyms
,
agriculture
Use synonyms
 accounted for the largest share at 92% in India,
whereas
Linking Words
industry
Use synonyms
 and domestic use registered the smallest shares at 3% and 5%.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
agriculture
Use synonyms
 made up the highest percentage at 69% in China, followed by
industry
Use synonyms
 and domestic at 22% and 9%.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
industry
Correct article usage
the industry
show examples
 registered the largest
proportion
Use synonyms
 at 80% in Canada, and domestic and
Use synonyms
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
 made up 12% and 8% of the total. Meanwhile, the domestic and
agriculture
Use synonyms
 sectors were the leading
ways
Check wording
users
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 at 46% and 44%, respectively,
while
Linking Words
industry
Use synonyms
 accounted for just 10%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, water, way, agriculture, industry with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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