Some people think schools should teach children how to cook. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Nowadays, some people think
schools
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should teach
children
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how to
cook
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. I agree that
schools
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should provide some basic information about cooking, because it helps to be independent and meet their own needs.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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with, I agree
the
Correct word choice
that
show examples
schools
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should teach
children
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how to
cook
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.
This
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is because it creates patience and wisdom when dealing with difficulties.
For example
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, there are obvious link between planning and cooking. That can easily teaching
children
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how to be patience and waiting the correct time to take the decision.
Therefore
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, the government should set rules to teach
children
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how to
cook
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.
Body paragraph 2
Another important point is that create content feeling between the family members.
In other words
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, it increases the bonding, cooperation, and strengthen the relationships between each other.
For instance
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, if someone covers for his family member during busy days that will help him to get promotion in long term.
As a result
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, it will create satisfaction between each other.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both points show some good effect of cooking and its need between each other.
Therefore
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, from my perspective,
schools
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should provide information how to
cook
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breakfast, and snakes.

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task response
State your main view more clearly: schools should teach basic cooking skills. Keep every main point about this idea.
task response
Explain why cooking helps children in daily life. For example, they can make simple meals, save money, and care for themselves.
task response
Your first main point about patience is not clear enough. Show how cooking teaches this, with one simple example such as waiting for food to cook.
task response
Your family example does not fit well. A person who cooks for family may help at home, but this does not clearly lead to a work promotion.
task response
Give more real and clear examples. You could write about a child making eggs or soup when parents are busy.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, first reason, second reason, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. Then explain it and give an example that matches it.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as “For example”, “As a result”, and “Therefore” should show a real link between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences easier to follow. For example, write “There is a clear link between planning and cooking” instead of “there are obvious link between planning and cooking.”
coherence and cohesion
In the conclusion, repeat your two main reasons in a direct way. Also use “snacks”, not “snakes”.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and keep the same view in the conclusion.
task response
You try to give two reasons for teaching cooking at school: helping children deal with daily tasks and helping family life.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful linking words, such as “To begin with”, “For example”, and “In conclusion”.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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