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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

School and university students learn lessons far better from teacher than from other sources, such as the Internet and television. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

3.5 / 9
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Introduction
Some sources
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 online
classes
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 and television
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classes
Punctuation problem
classes,
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 are not much better for students
as compared to
Correct word choice
than
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 studying at school or college. I
am
Verb problem
apply
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partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. I will explain my opinion in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
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 paragraphs.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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,
scholers
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scholars
 who are studying at schools and
college
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colleges
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 have direct access to ask questions
from
Change preposition
to
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 their teacher during
class
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time
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. To explain, if
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student
Correct article usage
a student
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 is not able to understand a
perticular
Correct your spelling
particular
 topic during the
class
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, he/she can raise their hand and ask
question
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a question
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 during the
class
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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doubt
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the doubt
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 can be cleared at that
time
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.
However
Linking Words
,
In
Correct determiner usage
in an
show examples
 online
class
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student
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 cannot ask
much
Correct determiner usage
as many
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 questions as there are
number
Correct article usage
a number
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 of students in
class
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 and
teacher
Correct article usage
the teacher
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 is not able to read comments of everytime
while
Linking Words
 teaching.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
student
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 have
wide
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a wide
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 range of content to choose to
study
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while
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 sitting comfortably at their place.
For example
Linking Words
, there are
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
 of
Youtube
Capitalize the proper name
YouTube
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 channels which teach vast variety of topics on their channel and a child can
study
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 any topic of their choice
on
Change preposition
at
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 their
preferrable
Correct your spelling
preferred
time
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 and space.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Online
classes
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 are much cheaper than offline
classes
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.
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Student
Fix the agreement mistake
Students
show examples
 can subscribe and learn without worrying about extra fees for extra subject which they do not want to
study
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, Offline
study
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 and online
study
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 both have their own benefits
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as easy
assess
Use the right word
access
show examples
 to clear
doubt
Check wording
doubts
show examples
 and
study
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 the topic of interest on individual's
time
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 of choice.

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task response
State your view more clearly in the first part. Say how far you agree, and keep the same view in all parts of the essay.
task response
Your two main ideas are useful: teachers can answer questions, while online study gives more choice. Explain each idea more fully. For example, say why a teacher’s answer may help a student learn better than a video.
task response
The question also names the Internet and television. You write mainly about online classes and YouTube. Add one clear point about television, or explain why it is less useful than a teacher.
task response
Use more exact examples. Instead of only saying that YouTube has many topics, give a short real class example, such as a student watching a science video again before a test.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. Keep this shape, but make the link to the main question clear at the end of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with one direct main idea. Then give an example and explain the result. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “Firstly”, “however”, “on the other hand”, and “in conclusion” are helpful, but make sure the next sentence truly shows the same link.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “student”, “class”, and “study” too often. You can use “learners”, “they”, “this way”, or “these lessons” when the meaning is clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make your last part stronger. Restate your view and say which source is better overall, rather than only saying that both have good points.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give a clear reason for each side.
task response
Your example about asking a teacher questions is relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because each main idea is in its own body part.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear signposts such as “Firstly”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion”.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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